Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Footprints and Voices

I'm sure just about everyone in the Christian world has seen or read the Footprints poem- you know, the one that starts with "one night a man had a dream". Why do I mention that, and why is this the title of today's blog, you might ask. Well, today I know I'm that man, or should I say woman. God is really carrying me. I know he is, because I'm still here on this earth, yet I have no strength to carry myself. I won't go into the gory details, but I have the certainty that God is walking with me right now, and carrying a huge part of a heavy load. It makes me wonder why- why He would care? There are more important people in this world, people who have done more than I can ever imagine doing, so why would he care about me? In my mind the feebleness and smallness of who I am stands out strong today. Why do I count, why does He even care to know how many hairs are on my head.

When I was a little girl I always thought that when I met God I would ask Him things like why is the sky blue, where does rain come from, are they really His tears.. etc. Now that I'm old- (and believe me, today I feel old), I want to know things like why do I matter to you. What dreams does He want me to live, and how can someone as small and insignificant as myself serve such a great and glorious God. It doesn't make any sense to me. But not much does right now.

Voices- do you ever really desire to hear God, to hear what He has to say to you, to know His thoughts, desires and direction for you life? That is perhaps the largest personal desire I have right now, to hear HIM, to understand HIM and to let HIM guide me. That probably sounds really strange, more so to the people who know what a mess my life is, but it's my secret desire. I wonder if discernment is gift, if understanding what God really wants you to do and where he wants you to go is a gift. I wonder how he speaks to me. I know that a part of God's language to me comes through song. There are so many times when am thinking something, and a song comes on the radio that speaks to the exact thing I'm thinking of. And at those times, I know it's God. I know, I probably sound like I've lost all my marbles. And maybe I have, if it means that I'm attempting to hear My God speak to me.

The song that keeps running through my mind today is from Casting Crowns, and the refrain goes like this:

And i'll praise you in this storm
and i will lift my hands
that you are who you are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
you hold in your hand
you never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I seek comfort in knowing He holds all my tears, and boy, does He have some big hands- because there have been many over the last few days! I will praise Him in this storm!

God, for all you've done, for every tear you've held, for the words and comfort you've given me I thank you. Lord, lead me, strengthen me and love me. Guide me to where you want me to be, what you want me to do and to those who you would have me love as you love me. In your loving son's name, Amen.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Power of Prayer and the Holy Spirit.

God is so awesome! I experienced first hand today the power of prayer, and the Holy Spirit moving in my life and the lives of people around me, people that I hardly know, and it's led me to a new level of understanding of the awesome power of God.

Last night I felt the urge to pray for someone I don't really know. I thought this was a little strange, but am working on that obedience thing, so I was game. I lifted up a few prayers, and shared the thought with someone close to my heart, who also lifted up a prayers of his own. I found out today that the person we had prayed for had been having a night filled with pain and felt pretty alone. When I shared my story of praying for her with her, the tears came, and she was awed at the way God works. She felt pretty alone, and was blessed to know that God was looking out for her during this time of turmoil.

While this was a blessing to her, it was even more of a blessing to me. See, I often think that God doesn't listen to me- not because He doesn't care, but well, because I don't really matter. But you know what- God wouldn't use someone who doesn't matter to do His work- and prayer is work. There are many days when I'm so down that I don't think that I will be heard, so I don't feel like it matters or not. But that is so wrong!

With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints. Eph 6:18

Therefore,having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.Romans 5:1-5

Until next time, keep Pam,Mike and their family in your prayers.

Lord, thank you the growth that you've led me to.Thank you for your son, for the Holy Spirit that touches us and fills us, allowing us to do things that we don't think in our power. Lord I come before you tonight with the plea for peace for Pam, for her family and friends. Lord heal them, guide them, and let them work towards your purpose and strength. Lord be with me every day, every minute and every second, clearing my path that I may come ever closer to the work you call me to do. In Jesus name, Amen.


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Where you lead me Lord I will follow

One of my favorite songs at the church I attend goes something like this:

All who are weak,All who are weary,
Come to the rock, come to the fountain,
All who have sailed on the rivers of heartache
Come to the sea, Come on be set free
If you lead me Lord I will follow
Where you lead me Lord I will go
Come and heal me Lord I will follow
Where you lead me Lord I will go

For some reason this song speaks to me- probably because I definitely need healing, (don't we all), but the imagery behind the words pulls me in. It's a physical thing- come- an action that needs to be taken. An action I need to take. Who can't relate to the rivers of heartache. I know I've had my fair share in the past, am having my share in the present and am sure that there will be more to come in the future. But that's ok- because now I know where to turn- the rock.
I didn't understand totally what the rock was- I thought it was Peter and the foundation of the church, but that didn't really make sense to me. Further digging lead me down a different thought train, with the bible and the help of someone that just blesses my life I have a clearer understanding that God, and faith is the rock.

Isaiah 26:4-Trust in the Lord forever,For in God the Lord we have an everlasting Rock. (NASB)
1 Cor 10:4- and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ.(NASB)

Matt. 7:24-"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Makes a little more sense to me now- I need to take action- have faith in God and Christ- and build my life upon that.
Seems so easy, doesn't it?

Father God, I come before you tonight with thanks for your presence in my life, for holding me close and counting the hairs upon my head. Lord, I ask that you give me strength and wisdom, discernment and guidance to answer what it is you call me to do. Guide me Lord, help me walk in Your way, seeking the truth and the light that is your only begotten son. In Christ's name I pray. Amen.

Sunday, July 15, 2007


I had a rather painful conversation today, one that result in a mini epiphany of sort- is there such a thing? Anyway, in this conversation I introduced the concept of relational integrity- the idea that I choose to treat others I am in relationship with in the way that I want to be treated, and I expect them to treat me the same. The mini epiphany came from the idea that in doing some action that goes against what I believe, well that isn't living with integrity. This was pretty painful for me. But the bigger picture, the more painful thought that I have taken actions or done things that aren't in line with my own integrity opened me up to the idea, no, the fact, that as sinners we all fall short of God's integrity. Wow, now I've got painful thoughts about two things.

Integrity- that's a huge word for me. One I'd like to think I've lived by.
Websters defines it as firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.

Being a artist, I can see this so clearly in my art. When something upsets the balance, the integrity of a illustration or drawing, what do I do- I take it out. I have a professor that calls things such as these visual fluff- things that are added that really don't bring anything to the piece, and in reality many times detract from it.

Life's a little harder. It's full of fluff. It came to me that even if I have this moral code I'm trying to live by, well, God has a bigger code. How come it's so easy for me to try to live by my own code, which I would like to think is in line with His, but there are so many times when my code gets in the way of His. There's so many times when life's fluff gets in the way.

Maybe it's time to embrace all He calls us to do, even the things that we don't understand or really fear. Break free of the daily fluff and let Him embrace us, -me, my life, my thoughts and my dreams. Live by the integrity of His word.

12 As for me, You uphold me in my integrity, And You set me in Your presence forever. 13 Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, From everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen.Psalm 41:13-13

Monday, July 9, 2007

A Hope

Sounds a little pompous, and more than a little strange doesn't it- Stand upon a mountain. Maybe I should clarify myself- that's a goal, a dream, a life wish. It's a metaphor, a line from a song, a way of life to be lived. It's a hope. The hope to live a life that means something, that when life is over the past is remembered with joy and happiness, but the future, the life we are promised in Christ is attained, and that the days on this earth are spent living the way God, Jesus calls us to live.
The title of my blog comes from the Third Day song, Mountain of God.That song really speaks to me- broken and afraid. We must walk through the valley to stand upon the mountain. This is about valleys, and living in 2007( and hopefully years to come) the way I perceive God calls me to live. It's a chance to share thoughts, seek community and to reach out to others. It's about reaching for the mountain in the ways I know how.
Ok, well it's a start. One day at a time.