Saturday, January 19, 2008

Odds and Ends

Hi! Happy Winter! Ah, the sight of snow, the smell of hot chocolate and the idea of snuggling up under a blanket and watching movies or reading a good, or even a bad book- does it get any better than this? Winter is great- as long as you remember the good things about it. Notice I'm NOT talking about how dirty my car is from the salt, or how high my heating bills are- that's right- we're not talking about it. Want to know why? Well, I can't change it, so I'm not focusing on it.
One of the not so good things about winter that I will discuss- and I'm sure blog about again- is math. Normal, everyday old math- you know a+b=c or something like that. In case you haven't guessed it- I have to take a math class this semester. Which could be bad- as in really bad. The last math class I took, was well, too long ago to remember. So, this is going to be a challenge. I'm not really sure why I have to have this class- I've done pretty well all these years doing things like, oh say, balancing my checkbook, figuring out things like taxes and square footage for lots of things- roofs, floors, carpet. Why exactly do I need to know the square root of whatever power of anything? Oh that's right- to get this d--- degree. And why am I doing this again?
Why am I doing this- a question I have asked myself more than once this week- as I've stressed over converse and inverse statements, rules of logic (me, logical?), and other mathy stuff. Give me art- colors, tints, hues, chiaroscuro, tenenbrism,contrast, Poussin, Caravaggio. Give me things that breathe that feel, that touch a part of someone. But I guess I've got to get through this. Not sure why when I feel like quitting- but God doesn't seem to agree with that idea. I'm not "hearing" that it's ok to quit. So- being the faithful servant that I try to be, I'll hang in there. I might complain about it- but I'll hang.
For anyone out there that might feel like attempting to post a reply- ( I know it's rather difficult, and many times the replies don't show up) - my theological question of the week. Why is it that sometimes when you pray, you can really feel God's spirit with you and other times you don't? Is it that you've opened yourself more fully up to God? I think that everything we pray about is important- if our God can count the hairs on our heads then he can care about the things we care to pray about (how's that for logic?). Ok. Just asking. Trying to understand my relationship with my savior a little better. Not that doing so is really possible in my finite little mind- but hey, I'm human AND female- we like to talk, think, figure out relationships!
Ok, until next time- Blessings and love,

Monday, January 7, 2008

I Start The Day The War Begins

Endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in...

This fits with my mood today - A storm I'm in. I guess life is a storm- one wave rode after another. Parenting is one such example. I thought- and I was so wrong- that when your kids "got grown" it would become easier. That is NOT at all the case.

My youngest son is seriously contemplating joining the marines. The parent in me is terrified of this- the democrat in me horrified. I'm really struggling with this. I want to support him in what he feels he needs to do- but why this? Why the need to enter into something that is so risk filled? The headlines bring news everyday of the youth that are killed in combat- and for what? How can joining the marines make life better- what space will this fill, what good can come of it? Where is God in this decision- Lord help him, help him make the choices that would help him achieve what it is in life he wants to achieve- and Lord, please, please keep him safe.
What as a parent do I do? Do I offer up my obvious negative views of this- or do I keep quiet and try to encourage and support him?
Do I share my fears for him, for our country and this war we are in? I'm so torn.
Pray for him, for me, and for his twin sister- who is struggling with this as much as I am.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

I Know The Plans I Have For You

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Jer. 29:11

Goodbye 2007 HELLO 2008! The end of a year of pain and heartache and the beginning of something new. I meant to post the sunset photo last night- to signify the close of 2007, the sun setting on another day and better yet, another year. This was taken sometime in early December- I was driving to school, and saw an opportunity to take this photo-so I pulled off and did. I love the colors. The majesty of the moment and the knowledge that it was a gift from God to me, and others who really took the time to experience it.
As I look back over the last year I wonder how the scripture that I started this with plays out in the last year. I'm sure it does, I'm just not sure of the calamity part- some translations use the word harm for calamity. I guess that in the end I really haven't been harmed- although at times it has felt like it!
So goodbye to the old- hello to the new. It's a wonderful thing. I think that out of everything that has come out of the last year the desire to have a deeper faith and to trust more, and really having grown in that department is key. So, if nothing else 2007 brought growth, and what's growth without growing pains. Hopefully 2008 will bring more growth- but not more growing pains! May God keep me and bless me, and anyone who reads this.