It's been a long time

Where has time gone? I swear (well, not really- usually when I do things like hit my thumb with a hammer...) that I was just on here. I guess I wasn't. Time flies when you're having fun- and even when you're not.

But I've been having fun- the good things first- school is over and (can you believe it?) I passed my math class with a high b. What a shock! I was doing some cleaning today and threw away the d--- math book. It felt so good! I never, ever throw away books- it's against everything I hold dear about the written word- but I had no problems tossing this one.

Life is going pretty well. Almost sounds boring. Church is good- we've started a community garden. It's so exciting to see all the little plants growing. I know, I'm so strange. Richard and I planted 50 baby tomato plants last weekend- and all week I've been worried that they aren't getting enough rain. It's kinda funny to see how I'm reacting to this gardening thing. I've always wanted a vegetable garden-even though I don't eat veggies as a rule- little did I know how much work it is. But it's for a good cause, and I'm getting a pretty good tan out of it-although Richard's will always be better than mine (haha).

Steph and I went to DC last month- hopefully I can post some of the photos we took on here. It was a great time. I love DC- probably my favorite place in the world. I had the best time just being with my daughter. It was truly a blessing. The photo is of a worship service that was being held on the mall the Saturday we were there- it was truly an awesome experience to see all the people spread across the mall, worshiping God. We didn't know it was going on, and just happened to stumble across it. I'm glad we did.

Tomorrow would have been Lori's 45 birthday, so this is a somewhat roug weekend for me. One full of memories of yesterdays' past and of things I won't get to share with her. For over 20 years we spent June 29 together, and July 4, both days just hanging out at the lake. While I know she is in a better place, I can't help but miss her. Sometimes I just want to hear her voice one more time, or share some deep female thing with her.
I guess it's times like these that I truly remember what faith is, what it means to hold on to something I can't see or prove. One step and one day at a time- Lord mostly just one minute at a time.
Til next time
Blessings,
TC

Snow Day!!

Welcome to the blizzard! What a blast this has been- a foot of snow, a day off and fun with the kids. The only downside to this whole snow storm was the fact that this was just not sledding snow. What a bummer. But we shoveled- which really was fun- we went for a walk- which was kinda weird, walking down the middle of the street and not having to worry about getting hit- and we made snowmen and angels. Ok, well, it wasn't really a snowman, per say, more of a snow head- the snow just wouldn't roll right, or maybe it's that it wouldn't pack right- but he's cute.
It really was a gift- I know, that sounds strange, to think of this huge amount of snow as a gift- but it was. God is good. When you can live through something like this, and just enjoy spending the time with your family- well, that's a gift. All good things come from God.
Hope you're enjoying this. Maybe the best thing about it was there was NO political news on today- the blizzard was more important. Thanks be to God!
Blessings- enjoy the beauty and peace,
TC

Paradigms

Or maybe I should call this memories. I had an conversation recently that made me think of the memories we hold onto, that shape us and make us who we are today. Memories of things that happen that change our paradigms. Often those tend to be painful things to remember. Not sure why that is, but as I've thought about it today, I've come to the conclusion that change often doesn't happen without some type of pain. And not all pain is bad.

I found it interesting that this subject would come up. Why, you might ask? Well, over the past few weeks I've pondered certain things, among them the changes that growing older brings. Remember when you were younger, and certain things seemed so easy, or came pretty naturally? An example of this might be reading something- why is it as you grow older your arms need to grow longer- and that never happens?

I was thinking specifically about weight lose. It used to be so easy to lose weight for me. Maybe that was because I spent a good portion of my adulthood battling anorexia. Not that I would have classified it as a battle, it was something I embraced wholeheartedly. This sounds pretty sick- but I enjoyed being a stick. Not that I thought of myself as a stick- or saw myself as one. Oh no, when I looked into the mirror I saw someone who was so fat, so obese, so disgusting. As I look back on photos of that long period of my life I know now that this wasn't true.

It might sound strange, but somewhere in the middle of that mess that was my life God touched me for the first time. It was a life changing moment. And it was painful. I didn't want to change the way I was, because I didn't see what was wrong with it. But God showed me, opened my eyes to what I was doing to myself. Can you imagine looking in the mirror and really seeing yourself as who you are? It was a shock to me- the experience of not seeing the obese person I thought I was, and instead the rail thin, malnourished person I had become.

I wonder why God touches us at certain times? Are these the times when we're too weak to go on, or the times when we're too stubborn to really see what it is we need? As I look back, I wonder why He saved me from myself? What purpose would, will He have me serve? And while I'm asking questions- why is it that I just can't seem to embrace the methods that served me well in the past in weight lose? Hmmm, I wonder if that means I've changed?

'Til Next time,
Blessings,
TC

Weekends

Ever wonder where time goes? For years I worked every weekend, mostly on Sundays, and the just on Saturdays- so having a job that gives me every weekend off is great. I totally embraced being a "9 to 5" gal, and this weekend thing. But I've come to the conclusion that maybe I need a day off on Mondays to recover from the weekend. Wouldn't that be nice? Not that I'm a party animal, or anything like that- it's just that the time goes so fast- trying to get so much done.
One of my goals for 2008 has been to devote time to getting to know God better- might sound silly to some, but it's the truth. It's been a blessing to me to be able to spend time every morning reading the bible. I've found strength in the scriptures that surprised me. One of the things I've tried to do more and more is spend time in prayer- which was a stretch for me- I hold a paradigm close to my heart that says that I am too insignificant for God to listen to, so why would he listen to my prayers. It's been a definite growth lesson to see many of my prayers answered, and to hear the voice of God in the silence.
There really is something to the idea- being still and knowing God. Hope all is well with anyone who reads this.
Blessings,
TC

Trying this again

Ok, it didn't work the first time- so here I am again. Persistence is a good thing, right? Anyway, I'm pasting in a link- if you copy it it will take you to my video on godtube.com. ( another page to manage- haven't done anything with it yet?).

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=47f21ee5e352cd36218b

Blessings,
Teri

Photo Final

Hi! If this works, I'm adding my final from photo class. We'll see. If it doesn't work, well I'll try again. Keep in mind that I really am not a photographer, or a video maker. But it was done with love, for God and for the song, so it works for me. The timing needs a little work towards the end- but that's not going to happen any time soon!
This really was a work of love for me. This song speaks to me. The whole CD does really. I got lucky with it- have you ever bought a CD because you really like one song, only to find that the one song you liked is the only one you like? Not so with this CD- I love them all- and they touch me, and bring me closer to my Savior and God. That's what it's all about- the relationship we choose to have with Him- because it is a choice- one that we renew daily (hopefully).
Ok- other stuff... hmmm,I don't have too much to say... (what??) If you see this and want to comment that would be great. If not, well I hope it speaks to you. I thought I would be really tired of the song by the time I was done with this- you had to keep starting and stopping, trying to get the timing right, and I thought my kids would be tired of it- but shockingly, they are not. In fact, they like the song. Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Blessings,
TC

Forgiveness and Values

I heard a very interesting mini sermon today that focused on the theme of forgiveness, and how as Christians we are called to "forgive others as we forgive ourselves." It made me think of quite a few things- the first and foremost, was that forgiveness is at times a chore- something I struggle with greatly. Not something I'm proud to admit, but it's true. I have a hard time forgiving people- mainly because I have a hard time forgiving myself. I'm my worst critic- it's never good enough, right enough, moral enough, I could have done better, and so on and so on.

The sentence that grabbed me, convicted me, and really made me think was: "As Christians we are called to live as Christ did, to live from a place of values and not feelings." WOW. Double wow. This really speaks to me on multiple levels- as a Christian, as a woman, and as someone who has struggled greatly over the last year just trying to get through the day.

As a Christian I struggle with the concept that God loved us, loves us enough to send his own son to die for our sins- and that in this death Christ offers us the ultimate forgiveness- think about it- how often do you do things for people you are angry at, that you are holding a grudge against, that have hurt you and you haven't let go of that hurt? If you're like me, not many times. But yet, here was this man- this king- and he forgave us the fact that he had to die for us. He showed us how to live from a place of value in that one act- not to mention all the other acts. WOW.

As a woman- well, really, does this need explanation? I mean, for the most part we are pretty touchy feely creatures. Feelings- that's the good stuff. Pull up a chair and we'll talk. As an artist- well that's even more important- I want my art, other's art to touch you, to evoke feelings, that lead to thoughts, that lead to more feelings. So to think about putting my feelings aside seems a little foreign to me.

As someone who has struggled with forgiveness this last year- perhaps this is just what I needed to hear- a reminder that I need to forgive, need to let go, and to live from a place of value. I've spent much time this last year trying to figure out how the people closest to me could hurt me when I was down, and how to let that go. It's not been easy- at all- but maybe, just maybe, that letting go, and living from a place of value will bring me that much closer to God, and to what he calls me to do. On multiple levels- in all aspects of my life.

Really makes me think- here I was trying to live by my values, integrity, and to hear this and realize that hey, I might just be missing the mark.
Food for thought- and thought needed for action.

Blessings,
TC