Stand Upon The Mountain

Winter...

2012-01-24T16:24:00.000-08:00

Yuck. I need spring. I need the renewal- in so many things. The tree in my neighbor's yard after the ice storm. Loved being forced to stay inside and relax. Not easy for me, but I was too afraid to get out on the road with my new Soul. Rocking the Soul, lol. It has a totally useless feature that I love- the speakers light up to the music. Useless, and probably cost more than I want to know, but hey- it's all good. Love my new car. One little highlight in this dreary gray winter.
Til next time- whenever that is...

Seek Justice, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly With My God

2012-01-05T04:19:00.000-08:00

This was my motto for yesterday. It might just well be my motto for today also. My place of employment has been challenging lately- well, for quite a while now- to say the least. The negativity in that place is overwhelming. It sucks the life out of you/me. I have a hard time dealing with it. I'm trying not to get sucked into it. I just don't understand how people can be so negative. It's just not worth it. White Castle's (Premium Cincy food, lol) used to put a saying on their packages, something about how many muscles it takes to frown verses smile. I don't remember the number, but it was a whole lot more to frown than smile. I would imagine that the same principle applies to negativity- that it's easier on a person to be positive than negative.

So, I'm just trying to get thru it. I'm praying the job market loosens up and something breaks. Until then...

The only way we'll ever stand
Is on our knees with lifted hands
Make us courageous
Lord, make us courageous

Seek justice
Love mercy
Walk humbly with your God

In the war of the mind
I will make my stand
In the battle of the heart
And the battle of the hand

More Lights-a happy thing!

Until next time...

2012

2012-01-03T17:01:00.000-08:00

It seems so strange to be writing 2012. Guess I never thought I'd see this...for a long time I had some strange idea I would die in 30's. Not sure why. Probably some strange half wish of mine. I've spent lots of time in my life contemplating or at least giving some thought to suicide. I'm kinda glad I never made it that far along that path...at least today anyway. Perhaps that thought will come my way again, who knows. Sometimes life just gets to be too painful. But today's good- and tomorrow holds promise. And God loves me even when I don't love myself. And I'm a coward- I really don't like pain, so I guess I would never really hurt myself. Besides, my kids still need me even though they are grown, and Autumn deserves a chance to know and love her grandma as much as her grandma loves her.

Yeap, I said grandma- another thing I never really thought would be or wanted to be a grandma. Boy, was I wrong. That little girl has me wrapped around both her little fingers. And I'm ok with that. It amazes me- the depth of love I feel for her. She's just perfect. Steph and Mike have really been blessed- she's such a good baby. Only cries when she's hungry or wet, and has slept through the night since she was a month old. They better stop while they are ahead, lol. The next one will be a terror. Here is she- my girly. That's the look she tends to give me any time I break out my camera. Which, I will admit is alot- like every time I see her. I can't help it- they grow up so fast, and I feel like I've forgotten so much of my own kids lives, I don't want to forget a minute of hers. Besides, she's so darn pretty.

My Girly

Speaking of photos- I signed up for a advanced class thru MSJ. One good thing about graduating from there- you can audit classes for 50.00- UC wants full the amount to audit. So, I'm looking forward to that. So, hopefully I will learn lots of new techniques to use in shooting her, and other things. I really want to get a new lens- first a AF-S Nikkor 28-300mm, then perhaps something a little more specialized. Not sure what that looks like right now but I can dream...

So, the grandbaby, photo classes and hopefully lots of photo taking, and other things to look forward to, I plan on trying to reconnect with this, to journal, share and post photos. Hopefully it will work.

I tried taking some photos of Christmas lights- I didn't realize how hard it was to do. A learning experience for sure...
Until next time...Happy 2012.

Ranting about Micromanagement and other things

2011-08-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

From the Cincinnati Zoo- I understand how he feels.

Ever wonder what motivates some people? I do. I guess I really wonder why some people- not mentioning any names here or places that would be identifiable-have the insane urge to control EVERYTHING. Yeap, caps. I do mean EVERYTHING.

Case in point... I left something- a note to myself- on my desk Friday (at that place I work which shall remain nameless)- just a reminder of how I needed to do something for future reference. Nothing big- just one of those little notes one writes oneself as a reminder. You know, in shorthand that you understand. It's like when I go to the grocery. A typical list might look like
1. h2o
2. pt- (paper towels)
3.tp- (toilet paper)
and so on. You get the idea.
Ok, so my grip, rant, issue...
I came in Monday to find my note- which had things crossed out and rewritten in other shorthand- not my shorthand, mind you- but someone else's shorthand. Really??? Really!!! They had nothing better to do than edit my notes- my personal notes that were STRICTLY A REMINDER TO MYSELF???!!!

It totally blew me away. I was amazed at the extreme level of micro management that occurs on all too often a basis. I was more than a little upset- can you tell? But I'm good now. I think. Well at least until the next issue comes up.

Next rant- I saw on the library's website that they are pushing Chaney's bio- who really wants to read that??? Just wondering. To me that would be worse than reading Bush's. Well, George W's anyway. George H's might not be too bad- as long as I don't have to agree with his politics.

And finally- I saw an article today that discussed Dumbledore being gay. Really? I've read all the books at least twice and have not picked up on that. Why does he have to be anything other than a wise wizard?

til next time...Oh, I guess I really have dropped the ball on this website's intent. Oh well...that's a whole other post...

Living the Dream

2011-07-27T18:12:00.000-07:00

Just haven't figured out whose yet- lol. It's been a busy summer. Vacation, travel, lots of house projects and my first full grandchild on the way. It's a girl!!! Woo hoo.

Um, I'm not old enough to be a full grandma. Oh well, I guess that's life. When I picture a grandma I remember Grandma Flynn, and how she was a little round thing that baked cookies, didn't work and well, I'm not sure what she did with her time when I wasn't around. She was a cute little thing- round as a watermelon, and gray as a rock. Always had an apron on, and fresh baked cookies in the cookie jar. Well, that's not me. Breaking a paradigm here. I was up on a 6 foot ladder finishing drywall not more than a half hour ago. And I was jamming to AC/DC. Somehow that image just doesn't fit with my picture of a grandma. Oh well, I guess Autumn will learn to love me as I am, and not as I "should" be. Instead of cookies it will be frappacinos from Starbucks. Instead of playing the piano we'll be painting anything and everything. Instead of only seeing her at holidays we'll be hanging all the time. Instead of Glenn Miller- who I love btw, it will be anything from AC/DC to Casting Crowns or the Boston Pops, and everything in between, well except rap- haven't ever developed a fondness for that.

I went to Florida last month with my "better" half- that really depends on what day of the week it is, lol. Florida in June is nice, right? Not- it rained every day- and not just a little bit. We're talking all day rain- for 5 of the 8 days we were there. Not good. I got up every day at 5 just to try and get some good snaps of the sunrise. Didn't manage to do that. But here are a couple that I took. More later. I've only got 2500 photos to go thru...

Sunrise-probably the best I saw

Ohio River

2011-03-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

Recent photos from the flooding. I usually park on the landing right near this sign.

And this is the walkway along the top of Serpentine wall. Pretty wild.

The (Coming) End of the Road

2011-03-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

Things I will miss about the church in Dayton:

1. Time with RW
2. Working with RW
3. the people
4. The garden
5. Baking
6. Potlucks

Things I won't miss:
1. The drive
2. The politics
3. Doing the bulletin EVERY WEEK
4. Negative comments and criticism about the above item- hey- I do it for free, week in and week out. Somebody else can step up and take the crap
5. The music- old dead people tunes DO NOT appeal to me
6. Being labeled the secretary- nothing wrong with being a secretary, but if that's what I am, well, where's the paycheck?
7. Labels- I get to be a CHRISTIAN again- no labels!!!!
8. Feeling like it's a job and not church

To Grow Up We Must Go Deeper

2011-02-09T18:24:00.000-08:00

HI! Long time no write. It's been a busy season, and well, I've been hibernating. Kinda, sorta. Really just trying to deal with the daily stuff that gets thrown my way, and some other stuff that is just once in a lifetime stuff- hopefully. In other words, too down to write, and too paralyzed to do much of anything. But that's gonna change...I'm gonna make it change.

So, here we are. 2011. I know, a little late on that observation. I started a bible study last week at Crossroads- Go Deeper. One of the premises for tonight's session was that we have to grow up to grow deeper. Which makes tons of sense. We can't remain babies when there is work that needs to be done by adults. We can't grow closer to who God wants us to be if we don't dig inside ourselves and figure out just who that is. Part of growing deeper for me right now means facing the fears and other crap head on. I wish someone could tell me what that looks like. But then- I wouldn't be digging deeper, would I? Someone would be telling me what I "need"- and I don't think that will work.

So, going deeper means...
-trusting more- which is so hard for me- I don't trust much in life except death and taxes...
-listening more- oh what a hard one for me that is. Too many years of doing it my way.

That's a start.

Love,
tc

on the photos- I haven't had the energy -too down- to do anything. Which really sucks. I got a tripod for Christmas and haven't even opened it yet. But here's one I like...

Fall

2010-10-17T11:42:00.000-07:00

Practicing two things- 1. alone time -time to think and figure out life. Wonder if this is what a mid life crisis looks like? Not so much fun but needed. 2. Depth of field- having fun with this.

More Vegas

2010-10-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

The view from our suite

And looking the other way

more later...

Vegas,Baby

2010-09-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

Some photos from a recent vacation. It was my first time to Vegas. What a trip! It's wild out there. I can't get over how BIG everything is. And how everyone (but me, lol) seemed to walk around with a alcoholic drink in their hands- at all hours of the day. There was so much to see- and not enough time to see it. Oh well, there's always next time.

I enjoyed walking around and seeing all the sights and people- I am a big people watcher. And I loved the pool- once I got over the fact that it was on the 22 floor of the hotel- I'm kinda, sorta afraid of heights. I loved just about everything I saw- the lights, the shows, everything. It did teach me that I need a tripod. I must have walked miles and miles every day. In fact- I walked so much (in flip flops) that a week after I came back I had to go to the doctor- my feet and legs were still swollen. Seems that spraining my ankle as I got off the plane in Vegas and then walking on it all week-(think tough Irish stock) did nothing to help the situtaion. I now have muscle and tissue damage to my left leg. Oh well, at least it wasn't the deep vein thrombosis the doctor first thought it was- so it was worth it. Memo to self...get rid of the flip flops.

I thought about deleting the photo at right but decided I like how it looks.

More later...

6-29-10

2010-06-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

It's a perfect summer day out- every day should be this beautiful.

But the beauty doesn't overcome my sadness.

Today would have been Lori's 47th birthday.

When did I get so old.

I wish she could get old with me.

I miss her. Some days more than others. I can go days without thinking about her, and then something will remind me of some event, big or small, that she shared with me. And I miss her all over again.

I thought it would get easier as time passed, and in some ways I guess it does. I no longer pick up my phone to call her and share some silly tidbit of daily life with her. In fact, I don't remember her phone number anymore. That makes me sad.

I would have traded places with her. I really would have. I thought about that over this past weekend, as I observed my twins in their stepbrother's wedding, and thought of how grown up they are, and how proud of them I am. And how proud of them she would have been- she helped raise them too.

And then I thought of her babies and how they were too young when she died to really remember her. I would have gladly traded places with her if it had meant she would have been able to raise her children. My kids are grown, and while they would miss me, they have all those memories of growing up with me.

Her kids don't, and won't.

It doesn't seem fair.

And it makes me sad.

Happy birthday Lori, wherever you are. I hope your spirit is happy and know that your are without pain. That's something.

The flowers are for you...

Another trip to DC

2010-05-19T18:31:00.000-07:00

Just got back from our annual trip to DC. I am such a dork- I love that place. I had a blast with the new camera. Hopefully I will get some photos posted over the next few days. This is one of my favorite- just for the blue of the sky.

We had great weather- sunny and 80 most of the time. Can't beat that. We must have walked at least 20 miles a day- and my feet hurt enough to show it. There was a exhibition on the mall while we were there- public and armed services. It was really cool to be able to see, (and get in) the various equipment that is being used by the military to fight the war, from helicopters to humvees. The only down side to it was the protestors that forced it to close early. While I totally support people's right to free speech, and am not in total agreement (at all) with the reasons for this war, I do believe that the troops there deserve our support. They are doing there jobs. For people to mock, threaten and do other things to the service men and women is totally unacceptable.

While I was there I heard from my oldest son. Thank God! He's alive and well, and in...Iraq. Which does not thrill me at all. Seems he got a hair up his rear to take a job with some construction company that is rebuilding over there. I don't get it. But it's not my life. I will give him this, he checks in every few days to let me know he's ok, and sends me a text every now and then. Wonder how much that costs?- To call and text from over there? Seems so far away.

Until later...
blessings and love,
tc

A Beautiful Spring Day

2010-04-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

HI! What a great day in Cincinnati. Wish it could be this perfect all year along, but then we would get complacent about it, wouldn't we? Let me tell you how great this camera is. Love it! Went down to Ault Park today- I think it was Ault- the one by Lunken Airport. Played around with the camera and lens. Fun times!

I decided that I want to do a study of lines- pleasing my graphic designer side here, so here are some of them...

I loved the contrast of this.

and this... I loved the texture of the tree- I'm sure that it's diseased, which is sad- but the bark was peeling, and created this incredible texture, and it "fit" with my lines.

The neatest thing about this camera- the ability to take as many photos as I like and then delete what I don't like and doesn't work. Pretty darn cool. More to come...

Blessings,
tc

And so it begins...

2010-03-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

Here's one of the first photos with my new toy. Not sure if you can see it, but there's a cardinal sitting in the tree. It's right outside my bedroom window, and this bird loves to start singing bright and early in the morning. This just doesn't do her justice- she was so bright against the cloudy sky. Oh well, photoshop can fix that eventually.
Here's the very first one taken with the camera- one of my favorite subjects- Madi- she thought she was going to get something. Little did she know...

Where Did March Go?

2010-03-29T16:01:00.000-07:00

Where has this month gone? I was reading over my only post for this month, and was a little surprised to see that well, I only managed to post once, and two, not much has changed since that post. I still miss my son. I still worry about him. I still dream about him and wonder how he's doing. I emailed him the other day, but I haven't heard back from him. I wish I could say prayer is getting me thru this, but it's not working to well for me right now. Having a faith crisis or something like that.

Oh well- wanna hear the good news? I finally got my DSLR-- woo hoo!! Now if I could get some time to play with it. We're headed to DC in a few weeks, so that will be good practice. I can't wait to take photos of the monuments and use my wide angle lense! So cool.

More later. Maybe. Who knows...

Missing My Son

2010-03-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes as a parent it's hard to see the good we've done, and all too easy to see the bad. I feel this way today, as I miss and worry about my oldest. It's been months since I've seen or heard from him. We have no idea where he is, what he's doing, or how he's living. A part of me feels like it's not right that he "treat" his mom this way, and that a phone call isn't that much to ask. It's really not.
I wish I understood a little better his issues. I know being home wasn't good for him, or me for that matter. I understand that he needed to go. I just wish I knew where he had gone. I dreamed about him last night. It wasn't an earth shattering dream, and in it he wasn't doing the best- but he was around, and I could keep track of him.
TJ, if you happen to read this call me. If you don't remember my cell- which you never could, for some odd reason- call your sister, or send us a text or email or something. Please.
I miss you. I love you and I am praying that you are ok, and that you're getting things together and making progress making your life what you'd like it to be.
Love,
mom

Being Happy

2010-01-05T17:37:00.000-08:00

I think I stated in an earlier post that being happy is my goal for this year. It's kinda tough to figure out how to do this exactly. I started out thinking the other day what could I do to make myself happy. Lots of ideas, some a little short on funds to get to right now. Other things came to mind too, things that don't cost money- which is good. One of those things was to make sure I set aside time each night to do something for myself. So, I've been turning in early and reading before I fall off to sleep. It's been working. I have a stack of books, not to mention bookcases full, that I plan on reading BEFORE i buy or borrow any more. Now that's a huge goal, lol.
Then today, I thought, how about making other people happy. Maybe that's where it starts. So, i did something very simple today, and paid for something for someone who looked like they were having a bit of a hard time. A pay it forward typt thing. I got the biggest smile out of her, and had one myself too. It's the little things that make me happy...
Now, if i could just get a snow day. One to spend playing in the snow, making snow angels and sled riding. How fun would that be?
Blessings,
tc

2010 Day 2

2010-01-02T14:51:00.000-08:00

Wonderful day today. Lots of baking. Some great recipes. I did figure out that I've spent a little too much time on church stuff this week, at least in my opinion. Designed the bulletin, printed and folded the bulletin, worked on a newsletter (that is taking a bit too long to get together), spent most of the day baking for church tomorrow- from scratch, mind you- banana bread, pumpkin bread, and a chocolate cinnamon coffee cake. How yummy does that sound?
So, what did I do for me today (thinking of being selfish here)? Well, I crocheted for me. I'm working on a throw for me- yes, for me. I never make anything for myself. So this is fun- the colors are great- neon pink, orange and lime green. Love it. The colors make me want to get it all done. Can't wait.
Oh well, time to find a good movie or curl up with a good book.

Here's the recipe for the coffee cake- Yummy!
Blessings,
tc

CINNAMON COFFEE CAKE

1/2 c. butter
2 eggs
1/4 tsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. baking powder
1 c. dairy sour cream
1 tbsp. granulated sugar
1/4 c. chopped nuts
1 c. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1/4 c. brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon

Cream butter and 1 cup sugar until light. Add eggs, beating well. Add vanilla and lemon juice. Sift dry ingredients together. Add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. In small bowl mix brown sugar, 1 teaspoon sugar, cinnamon and nuts.

Pour half of batter into well-greased tube pan or 9 x 13 inch pan. Sprinkle brown sugar mixture on. Pour on remaining batter. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes.

2010

2010-01-01T18:45:00.001-08:00

Wow, another year- heck, another decade. I'm not sure if I'm glad to see the old year go. I guess I'm just not sure about the old year at all. There weren't many highs or lows, just a bunch of in things betweens. I thought about setting New Year's resolutions, but they always get broken, don't they? So, after reflecting over the past year I came up with a few things. NOT RESOLUTIONS. Just things I want to do...
...I want to be happy. That might sound strange, but I figured out that for much of 2009 I was sad. Not unhappy, just sad. The kind of sad that makes it hard to get outta bed. The kind of sad that makes it hard to find happy in the small things. The kind of sad that made it hard to be around people, 'cause I just didn't have it in me to put on a happy face. I guess I did pretty well at hiding it- not many people seemed to catch on. Or maybe, not many people cared enough to ask? The kind of sad that was probably clinical, and needed help, which I didn't get. And probably won't get now. I don't feel as sad lately. I was dreading the holidays, for many reasons, but mostly because I was afraid they would make me sadder. They didn't. I got into decorating, although a little late, I got into shopping, and spent way too much, and I really got into the extra days off. Loved that part. So, that made me a little happier than I have been in a while. Which is good.
...I want to do more for me, and less for others. 2010 might just be the year of being incredibly selfish. I've never been a selfish person, so this might be a challenge, but one I'm willing to take on. I want to put me first for a change. I'm really not sure how that looks, or what it means, but it sounds good and feels right. So, we'll see.
...I want to develop a closer relationship with God, a more personal relationship. That might mean doing things that make me feel closer to Him. Reading, Prayer, Really loud worship music. Taking as well as giving. Heaven help me, but being a pastor's SO is really trying at times- and that makes church more a job than a worship experience. So, things on that front might change. Maybe I'll not do as much. Maybe I'll make a point to worship at a church that feeds me every week. Not sure on that yet either, but it feels right.
...I want to create. Which is great- the urge to do this hasn't been there in a long while. It's like a part of me, I need to create just as much as I need to breathe. I am totally enjoying having this feeling back. I hope it lasts. I hope I can create what is inside me. Stay tuned. Creating includes lots of things, one of them writing, and I'm sure that there will be lots of posts and hopefully plenty of artwork and photos to share.
Love and blessings,
HAPPY NEW YEAR,
tc

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-26T23:29:00.000-08:00

Was a pretty good day in many ways. Lots of food, fun and family. My brothers were together for the first time in a loooooong time. That was good. Don was feeling good, after spending the night in the hospital earlier in the week. I was glad to see that.

Every year it gets a little more strange to go spend the holidays with the ex and his family. Not sure why but it does. Maybe because the kids are grown and don't need my "protection" anymore? Really not sure. I think a part of it is because I missed someone- TD&H, who was hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away. But then maybe not, since we don't do well on holidays...another topic for another post.

Or maybe it was the bittersweet fact that this was the last holiday that I will have with my daughter living with me. At least until I'm old and in diapers. Not a pleasant thought. YUCK! She moves today. I know she's ready for it. But I'm not. Or not as ready as I could be, but then I might never be totally ready. Mom misses her already. OK- I know, she's going to be like 5 minutes away. But it won't be the same. Maybe it will be better. Who knows.

More on this later. TIME TO GO SHOPPING NOW- BLACK FRIDAY HERE I COME!
Blessings,
TC

Having More Patience

2009-11-17T17:48:00.000-08:00

My scripture for today was Zechariah 4:6- "Not by might nor by power but by my spirit", says the Lord of Hosts.

What did that mean for me, for today? It meant that God doesn't work in the way I would, or in the time I would. He works in His time, through the Spirit. So, for today I was going to try and have more patience, and wait for His time, to pray more, to be grateful for what I have and not to worry about everything under the sun.

I didn't do very well at much of this. Well, I did pray more than I have been. That's good. I'm on a mission to have a deeper faith...or at least get back to where I used to be. So that was good. Patience, well, that went out the window about 10 minutes into the work day. AND let me just tell you- I prayed a lot throughout the day for more patience. For more forgiveness. For more grace, for myself and others. Did it help? I'm not sure, but I did get through the day without confronting anyone. That's a good thing. So, prayer helped.

Worrying...I always worry. I think it's hardwired deep in my soul. I worry about everything. I wish I didn't. This season, the holiday season, always brings more worries. That, I have figured out, lies in my childhood, and most of my adult life as a single parent. Life hasn't always been easy. But it has been fun, and full of love. And that's what counts. So, it's all good.

Hopefully tomorrow I will do better on whatever my scripture is, and how it makes me feel. I'll let you know.

Prayers and love,
TC

Trying to do this every day is (almost) impossible

2009-11-15T18:23:00.000-08:00

I've really tried to do this every day, or, I should say , I have really thought about doing this every day. But actually sitting down and doing it is more a problem. After a long day at work on the computer, I really have very little desire to do it.Hmmm.

That thought - and ones like it- have helped me figure out something. And you get to hear it- aren't you the lucky ones! (maybe not?) Ok- the thought's roots lie in faith. More specifically, what I feel is a lessening of faith. Maybe not a lessening, more of a distance. I feel like my faith isn't what it once was, isn't what it should be, or what I want it to be. I think a part of this lie in the feeling that worship is now a job, or more of a chore. It's hard to balance what needs to be done at the church and what I can do. There's lots that need done, and I feel that I should be a good minister's "wife" and do as much as I can. But then I feel overwhelmed.

I can't , or don't, really talk to the SO about this anymore. It causes too great of a conflict. At least sometimes. Sometimes it just requires too much of an effort. And energy I don't have. So, where does that leave me? I wonder if there is a support group for women who date ministers and are really involved in their churches. Somewhere we could go to "let our hair down", gripe about all the challenges, and have somebody understand. Maybe I can start one. Nah, takes too much energy.

So, here's the plan. Getting back to where I was, at least in faith. Hey, if I could do that in other ways, like, oh say, lose 20 pounds- OR BETTER YET, 20 YEARS!- that would be nice. But right now, I'll focus on faith. So, it means getting closer to God, finding ways to feed spiritually- like attending service at a church that feeds me. That doesn't mean I give up my church- just that I embrace that one feeds me and one allows me to hopefully help feed others. That's a good balance I hope.

Ok. hands hurt so that's a sign to quit.
Love and blessings,
TC

Ok, I've Missed A Few...

2009-11-10T17:54:00.000-08:00

Hi! It's really hard to do this every day- especially on the weekends. There is just not enough time in the day. And to be honest, after spending the day from hell at work on the computer, I really have been avoiding it at home. Seems I have ulnar nerve damage in both hands. Don't ask me what that is-- all I know is that my hands hurt REALLY BAD. All the time. Kinda really sucks.

So, what's going on here. Baby girl's getting ready to move out. Her room, and most of the upstairs is packed to the brim with boxes. She moves out on the holiday weekend- which is the same weekend as my birthday. Happy birthday to me. NOT! I know I should be happy about this, it's time, she's ready but it's a huge change for me. And as many of the nearest and dearest to my heart will tell you, I don't do change well. That is totally such an understatement.

Getting ready for the holidays. Making lots of stuff, which is really hard considering I have Ulnar nerve damage, whatever the heck that is. But I have to make stuff. It's like hard wired in me to create. Create lots of stuff. I'm making lots of presents, because, I like making things for people. It's more personal. And I'm making a Christmas quilt (photos coming)- but that probably won't get done since it's for me, and things for me tend to take a back seat to eberything else. (I wonder how unhealthy that is?) So, look for photos of everything. One of the things I'm really excited about is the painting I'm going to do for Steph. Ican't wait.

Guess I can start getting excited about having a room in the house where I can leave all my artwork spread around and not have to worry about putting it up....
until next time ( maybe tomorrow?)
TC

ET Phone Home

2009-11-07T06:24:00.001-08:00

Missed a day yesterday posting. Had a crappy day at work... maybe more on that later. For now- my oldest is MIA. If I can find a photo I will post it. He was last seen on the Louisville, KY area. If he reads this, or anyone else that knows him reads this and has seen him, please let me know.
Thanks,
TC

ET PHONE HOME!!!!!

Meet Flappie

2009-11-05T18:10:00.000-08:00

Anybody have one of these? It's my virtual pet at work. The premise is that you feed it- the chicken leg, play with it- the smiley face, and discipline it- when needed- the !!, make it take naps- the zz's- and someday it will grow into something. Not sure what.

Let me just tell you about my vp. He's 34 today, well yesterday really, but hey- he made it to 34. My record was 29 before this, but my boss killed him when I was on vacation. Poor Flaps. He was missed...so I revived him. But I think we have a problem...see, he's lived his whole life in the dark., as evidenced by the stars in the background. He's supposed to live just like us, daylight and dark. But he doesn't.

So, I've come to the strong conclusion that my Flappie is a vampire. It's the only reason I can think of that he lives in the dark. Well, another reason could be that my mac at work is just a piece of garbage, and won't update his status. But it's nicer to think that he's (it's?) a vampire on some level.

I know. So random. Still sad- see yesterday's post. Trying to look on the bright side. Trying to smile.
Flappie makes me smile.
Blessings and love,
TC

Day 3- Rampant Emotions

2009-11-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

Hi. Today's been a rough day. Started out with the people in my house ignoring and bitching at me. Not a good way to start any day. Proceeded on to work and all the tension there. It's not a stretch to say I really dislike my job- for lots of reasons- but right now the tension is so thick...

Then- I tore a hole in my pants-- way to go ace. I would post a photo but then the whole Internet- or at least the people who read this- up to like 1500+- would see my fat rear end. So, that's just not gonna happen.

Then home again. I had cooked in the crock pot, and was planning a nice evening- had the materials so I could work on the bulletin- thus freeing up my Thursday evening- hey, maybe I could see that beau of mine BUT I got some unsettling news. While it's good news on one hand, I'm really sad about it one the other. My daughter is moving out.

I repeat...MY DAUGHTER IS MOVING OUT. While a part of me is glad to see her at this crossroad of life a HUGE part of me is just not ready for it. I am very sad. There is no other way to describe it right now. I'm sure the sadness won't last. And I'm sure I will find lots of things to use her room for. Like a art/reading/office. Among other things. And she's not taking the dogs- which makes me happy. I would be one sad pup, pun intended, if she and the pups left at the same time.

But right now I'm just sad. Tomorrow will be different. I hope.

Pray for us, pray for her and her new start on life. She's had a good foundation- she's a good kid, i.e. young adult, and she's ready for this. But mom's struggling...

Day 2...and the thought is...

2009-11-03T18:53:00.000-08:00

The thought for the day...or rather a question. What did I do now? I find myself asking that question concerning lots of things. Tension at work, lack of communication in relationships, things at church, things with friends.
I don't think it will surprise anyone that I'm really tired of that question. Makes me want to throw the towel in on lots of things. But I don't -- why you might ask- well, I'm Irish- pretty stubborn. I really just don't like to quit.

BUT--- I would like to have more days when I don't ask that question than I do...
maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Simple Pleasures

2009-11-02T14:58:00.000-08:00

In honor of National blogging month I'm going to try and do this every day this month. OK_ let me be the first to say I ALREADY MISSED A DAY. Oh well. I have good intentions.

Some of life's simple pleasures...

Matching all the socks in a load of laundry

A good meal and then a clean kitchen

morning kisses (from people and pets)

sunny fall days, and pretty falling leaves

lazy days off reading a good book

a day when my hands aren't hurting so much I can't function

I loves yous

til tomorrow....

ambiguity

2009-10-20T16:19:00.000-07:00

Another Sweetest Day has come and gone, and with it came a realization of sorts. For the last couple of major holidays, and birthdays I've been a little disappointed when RW hasn't popped the "big question". But in many ways I've been very grateful that hasn't happened...because if it did, well I would have to think about what to do. And in that thought lies the realization... I'm very ambiguous on the subject of marriage.

Getting engaged sounds wonderful. But once you get engaged I guess at some time you have to, oh I don't know, really get married? I guess you can't just be engaged forever...even if it would work for you?

I'm really torn about this. I don't understand why it is I get (a little) upset about it. I really don't want to get married at this point. I mean, I love him totally. BUT (huge but) I've been single so long that, well, I like being single. I like not having to answer to anyone. Even though I guess I do "answer" to him on some level.

And then there's the differences... like I'm female and he's male. I know, I know, that makes for a great start. Sure would make sex something desirable, lol. But really, he's so male sometimes, not wanting to talk about feelings and such, and I'm so female, and wanting to talk. The way it is now, I can go home (to my own space) and get over the anger or upsetedness of not getting to talk on my own terms. Which is cool. Which I like.

And lets talk pets. I am totally a pet person. My dogs sleep with me. I like (usually) the fact that my dogs sleep with me. They really aren't dogs, they're people in disguise. I like my dogs/people. He's not a pet person. He has fish. Now, while I like his fish- especially the "wiggle" fish, they're fish. They don't cuddle with you. They don't wake you up at the crack of dawn because they need a kiss, or to go out.

And talk about opposites. I'm totally OCD about organization...and well, he's not. Places like Organized Living and IKEA are a little slice of heaven to me. I have one place- ONE- in my house where library books go. AND ONLY ONE. Which isn't him. And that's ok... for him. I like the fact that all the laundry gets done on one day and then put away. I've worked hard to instill that in my children. They get it, they get me. I'm anal, and it's ok. They still love me. Would he still love me if I freaked out because, OMG, it's Sunday and there's still laundry that's not done or put away?

And let's not mention that fact that well, hey, marriage- been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, AND OUTGREW IT. Now, I know that I got married at a young age, and divorced, and that my marriage wasn't what it should have been. I get that. I get that I also have grown, and have different ideals now than I had then. But it still remains that I failed. And I don't like failure. I don't handle it well. I don't want to fail again.

But there lies the fact that well, marriage would make things better in so many ways. I love him, and can't imagine life without him. I miss sex, and would someday love to share that with him... and that makes marriage a pre-req. Hmmm, what to do, what to do.

Maybe we could just get engaged for a long time and see where it went. I'm girly enough to want the ring. I guess God will lead us where we need to go. I'm sure there will be more about this to come. Ambiguity makes one think.

Blessings,
TC

PS. The flowers were my Sweetest Day gift. They are lovely...and more than the card that I got him.

Change

2009-09-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

Ever want to change your life, but just don't know how? That's where I'm at right now. Something needs to change, I'm just not sure what.

Maybe I need a location change- wouldn't that be nice. Maybe somewhere nice and warm... high of 80 everyday and sunny, low of 50. I wonder if such a place exists?

For sure, a job change. I really need something more challenging.

Maybe a new house? Nah, probably not... I'm just now getting this one to the point where I really like it.

A new relationship? Nah, love the minister too much...but there are things I would change about it, if I could. More "us" time, a greater level of intimacy. I know, I knew what I was getting into dating a minister. Lots of other obligations, they work weekends, sex is a no-no, yada yada yada. And that's cool. I guess, well mostly cool. Kinda scary to think that to change that aspect means marriage. Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt AND OUTGREW IT!

A new hobby. Hmmm. I wonder if I can find a hobby that doesn't involve the use of my hands. They're pretty useless right now. Perhaps - a BIG perhaps- that's one of the reasons for the unrest right now. I really can't do anything without the constant pain. It gets old. I want it to change. Oh well, tests this week on the hands...hopefully that will bring a concrete diagnosis and treatment.
Pray for resolution. I need it.
Blessings,
TC

Ill and Abused

2009-08-28T19:38:00.001-07:00

What a sorry looking plant, isn't it? I've had this plant for more than 20 years- longer than most of my adult relationships. It's moved with me 3 times. It's been through good times, when it was really healthy and growing big and strong. It started out in a little 4" pot and eventually grew big enough to be transplanted a number of times, finally ending up in the pot it's in- a pretty large planter. But it's not having a very good time right now. It kinda makes me sad, and I wonder if it's a reflection of certain aspects of my life. More on that topic at a later date.

Anyway, about 2 years ago it was huge- overflowing, with vines growing everywhere and bright green leaves. Last year when Jimmy passed away people sent planters, and I brought most of the plants home. I had 14 plants spread throughout the house, and this one made 15. I loved it. It felt like I was outdoors all the time. But all those nice plants that were sent to the funeral brought thing along with them besides sympathy. Among those things were spider mites. Let me tell you how gross those are. OK- well anything with the word spider in it is gross. I have major nightmares about spiders. I have one recurring nightmare that is just horrible. I'll share that one of these days- I try not to think about it because I'm afraid I'll "talk" it up.

Anyway- the SMites- I ended up having to throw away all of the plants that we received. That was pretty upsetting to me. I probably should have gotten rid of this one too, but hey, I've had it for so long. It's lasted longer than I was married. That means something to me. I know, it can't talk back, or argue with me. Probably why it's still here. It just sits there, and I can ignore it pretty much of the time. With my life that is a good thing. Unless you can demand my attention, chances are you aren't getting it.

Anyway, I started to make progress in bringing this back to life. It had some new growth, and some shiny green leaves. But then all of the sudden it started looking really bad again. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I hadn't changed anything I was doing. Well, I figured it out the other night...
...Seems that Madi, the princess and ruler of the house, has taken a liking to the leaves of this plant. She likes to chew on it. She likes to chew on everything but REALLY, REALLY likes the plant. I came into the living room the other day to find the 6lb chi sitting- yes SITTING, in the pot, ALONG with the plant, chewing on its stem.
So, this is all I have left of something I've had for more than 20 years. I had to do some serious trimming to get rid of all the vines Madi had broken and chewed on. It's so sad looking. One scrawny little vine.
I hope it comes back. And I hope that it's not poisonous to pups. As much as I want to strangle the princess for eating my plant- I kinda like having her around.
Anybody got any ideas on how to save a plant's "life"?
TC

I Know You Shouldn't Blog About Work...

2009-08-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

HI! I've read enough blogs to know that you can get "dooced" about blogging about work. But I can't take it anymore!!!! My computers suck! Ok, so this isn't about people- good thing, since I don't want to get dooced- it's about hardware. Specifically, really OLD hardware. Even more specific- really old hardware that is driving me totally BONKERS!

I have 2 computers at my work station, the main being a Power Mac G4. A 2004 Power Mac G4 to be specific. With 256 RAM. Is anyone seeing the problem yet? Add to that I'm trying to run the Adobe suite CS3. I would love to upgrade to CS4 but... I'm on a OLD MAC. I can't even do any updates to the CS3 well because I keep getting a error message. Which totally sucks. Not to mention that when I try to print from Acrobat it cuts off half the page. I don't know why. Can't figure it out. It's really frustrating. And heaven forbid trying to have more than one app open and in use at once. Opening Photoshop means that I'm pretty sure that nothing else is going to work right. Just for an example. I had ID open today, and tried- really tried- to open a 256 kb Illustrator file. The color wheel spun for 10 minutes--- 10 MINUTES0 for 256kb. I was ready to scream!

And the PC- oh the wonderful PC. In case you can't tell that is pure, undulated sarcasm. With a cap S. Same suite on it, just works a whole lot slower, if that's possible. I won't even try to open more than one app- at least I can try on the MAC. Other problems with it- for some reason, which I can't explain, I can't print from my email. Which is pretty frustrating, when I need to print something to hand off to somebody or to file, and can't. I don't know how old the PC is- I know it's "younger" than the MAC, but it has so many ISSUES. The main one being that it has very little security. I'M CONVINCED IT'S BEEN HIGH-JACKED-- BUT NOBODY BELIEVES ME. It makes for a very tough day.

Does anyone feel my daily, hourly pain? A little sympathy would go a little way to helping me feel better. A baseball bat would make it a whole lot better!
Blessings,
TC

The New Deck

2009-08-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

How awesome is this? Compliments of my son and brother- and has only cost me 400.00. What a deal. It's huge. Spans 2 sides of my house. Love it. Now if I could just get the bugs to leave me alone long enough to enjoy it.
Let me tell you how peaceful it is to sit out here in the morning while I get my caffeine fix. I am so blessed. Still needs latice, and then stained, but it's a work in progress.
I almost don't recognize my house. In the last 2 years we've put on new siding, installed new windows and doors, had a roof put on, "got" a new kitchen and laundry room and some other, minor stuff. Love it. There's still a bunch of work to be done on the inside- all cosmetic, with the exception of the bathroom remodel, but it's coming along. Wish Lori could see it. I like to think she can.

Not Sure What To Do With Myself...

2009-08-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

It's kinda strange that school starts next week... and I'm not enrolled. It's been a long haul. And truth be told, I'm a little lost with all this time. The summer hasn't gone quite as I imagined it would. I thought I would have lots of time to work on all the art projects I've started but not had time with being in school to finish...but that hasn't happened yet. I thought Richard and I would spend bunches more time together than we've been able to do when school is in session... but we've seen each other less than when I was in school (at least I think that's the case). I wish I could figure out all the reasons that I haven't done the things I thought I would, or spent the time the way I thought but I think it boils down to...I've been really lazy. Not that being lazy is a bad thing. And I guess if I asked other people about it they might not agree, but I feel really lazy. I guess I can say I took the summer off.
But now it's time to get back on the ball. Get involved in more activities. Spend more time with the loved ones, and quit being such a introvert. Jump back into the design/art projects. Get the website up and the portfolio together. Freelance. Dream. Explore. Pray.
Anyone interested in helping hold me accountable to my dreams, desires, wishes and goals? I need all the help I can get...

The image above is one of the few projects I've completed this summer. It's a quad-panel display for church. Not sure why but the color comes across as orange when it's really a purplish blue. Oh well. It's been fun. I hope to install it this weekend.
Blessings,
TC

Living the Dream, Odds and Ends, and Jon and Kate

2009-05-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

I just need to figure out whose dream- lol! I have way too much time on my hands and no real desire to fill it up with anything special. I've invested some thought into thinking about getting my master's degree.... but am not there yet. Too tired of being worn out I think. Not sure what I would do with it- I would love to teach, but am really just not sure.

Steph and I just got back from our annual journey to DC. I would so move there if I didn't have ties to Cincy. I have invested some time into looking at the job market up there- actually it's better than here. I wonder if I can get everyone I love to move with me? Nah, I didn't think so. Still, it's a thought. The attached photo is the fountain at the sculpture garden on the mall. We had a great time- she met a "boy"- who just happens to live in Dayton- how funny is that. He's a really nice guy- got his act together, college educated, successful--the type of guy a mom could see her daughter with.

Ok- I am going to admit I have a Jon and Kate Plus 8 addiction. I really do- it's all Steph's fault. (How's that for not being accountable?) Anyway, I got hooked on the first few episodes, and that was it. So, like 10 million other people I turned into the season premier the other day-- and was appalled at what I saw. I feel so sorry for the family, more so for the kids. They are the innocent ones in that whole mess. One of the things that really bother me about the whole thing is the public's attitude. It's like the world wants that marriage to fail. It's terrible. So- as a person who firmly believes in God's love, forgiveness and redemption- saving grace I am asking anyone that happens to read this blog to pray for the power of God's saving grace to touch and heal this family, and protect them from themselves, the vultures of the world and anyone who wishes them harm. Instead of rooting (sp?) for the demise of their marriage, let's pray for healing and forgiveness, and for God to work in them to make the family stronger.I don't think that's too much to ask. Through God all things are possible.
Blessings,
Teri

The End of a Looooong Road

2009-05-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

5-9-09 marks the end of one of the longest and hardest roads I've ever embarked on- the completion of my BFA in graphic design. That might not sound like much, and in the grand scheme of things it isn't... but for me it's a huge accomplishment-- one I never thought I would achieve.
If someone had told me years ago that I would be able to achieve this dream I would have sadly laughed at them. Getting married straight out of high school, and then proceeding to have have 3 children, which I ended up raising by myself, went a long way to discouraging any personal dreams I had. And college was one of the biggest. It's funny, but raising kids-- by myself-- was a much easier task. To me it was intuitive- lots of love, patience and understanding and you can get through it.
I wish I had blogged or journaled about school- but better late than never. Over the next few weeks I'm going to post about the experience of being the "old lady" in classes filled with twenty somethings-and all the challenges and growth I faced. And how God got me through it.
OK- this is truly a sad, funny story. I probably shouldn't admit it-- and as I look back I am laughing my rear end off. How dumb was I???
One of the first classes I took was a computer graphics class. It taught you the basics of computer design- my first intro to Photoshop and Illustrator. But before I go into that--- let me just tell you about the first day. We walked into the Mac lab at RWC, and after the teacher introduced herself, she told us to turn on the computer. Now, this wasn't just any computer. It was the first model of the G4 macs. -- A pretty impressive machine to say the least-- but one that was completely foreign to some who had extremely limited experience with a very basic IBM. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT ON!!! AT ALL. I HAD TO ASK! I had the strongest feeling that the Professor really had doubts about my abilities to complete the class. I DID TOO! And that feeling would persist for a good part of the quarter- but more on that later.
For now, I want to share the scripture verse that really, really held me up when I felt like I was too stupid to continue- and that happened often.

Preserve sound judgement and discernment,
Do not let them out of your sight;
They will be life for you,
An ornament to grace your neck.
Then you will go on your way safely,
And your foot will not stumble,
When you lie down, you will not be afraid.
When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Have no fear of sudden disaster,
Or of the ruin that will overtake the wicked,
For the Lord will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being snarled.
Proverbs 3:21-26

Oh, and by the way-- I ended up acing that class. Go figure.
Blessings,
TC

Email

2009-04-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

I came to the conclusion today that I have a love/hate affair with email. I guess the same can be said of snail mail- even though all that tends to bring anymore is bills, since everyone now uses email for communication. But email, it's different. If you're lucky to have an account that offers really good spam protection you can almost be assured that everything in your inbox is stuff you want to read. Which is cool. When I went on vacation last year I didn't check my email--- big mistake. I think there were over 500 messages when I got back- but only a few that mattered to me-- hence the new email address!
Ok, the love/hate thing. Since switching addresses I have found there is a direct correlation between the number of emails sent and the number received. (DUH!) Anyway, it really bummed me out when I opened my inbox to see no new emails from people I want to stay in touch with. THEN I realize that to receive you have to "give." And with the lack of time to "chat", well, I guess it goes without saying that no one wants to chat to someone who doesn't respond. So, while I love to stay in touch, I hate to stay in touch too. Does that make any sense?
Anybody else ever feel like this???
Blessings,
TC

Newest Member of the Family

2009-04-10T12:11:00.001-07:00

Say hi to Madi- the newest addition to the household. Let me just tell you- it is like having a baby in the house- she needs to be fed on a schedule, taken out at specific times, and generally loved like a baby. Last night I was up later than usual, and the "poor thing" kept crying at me-- she wanted to go to bed, which she couldn't do without me. How sad is that???
And... notice the floor. OK, it's not the greatest photo, it's from my blackberry, which I'm not really used to yet-but you get the idea. Anyway- the floor- if you look really close you can see pieces of it missing. Seems that the madster likes to chew on it. She's found a way to gnaw up pieces of it- which I've found in the strangest places.
But, even with that, she is adorable and fun. I never though I would say this-- but I'm so glad we got her!

Ever wonder part 2

2009-04-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

More thoughts to ponder...

Ever wonder why when you lose weight, you lose it where you don't want to? After all these years it finally looked like I hit puberty-- I had a real chest-- AND DIDN'T HAVE TO BUY PADDED BRAS!!! And now, embracing the new diet- well, lets just say that the best things are the first to go.

Ever wonder why it is McD's started selling fancy coffee??? Do they think they can compete with SB's? Maybe it's just me, but if i want a cheap, fast burger, I'll head to McD's. If I want good coffee, (which I always want, need, crave) I head to SB.

Ever wonder where they come up with the ideas for some of these reality shows and the people that take part in them? I mean really, who wants to be branded a bridezilla? Tha's just what I want to do- go on national tv and show what a b---- I am to the world, NOT!

And what about the movies- another Star Trek. Have all the writers lost all originality and creativity??? Why all the remakes?

Ever wonder why people like me feel the need to post the silly things they think about??

'Til next time, Blessings,
TC

Ever wonder

2009-04-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

Questions for the (?) masses...

Ever wonder why it is you bother to try and do something even when you know it will be met with great resistance?

Ever wonder what God's plan is for you?

Ever wonder what happens to you when you die?

Ever wonder why stale peeps taste so much better than fresh ones?

Ever wonder why watching a movie while cuddling is so much nicer than watching the same movie alone?

Ever wonder why the mindless games are your blackberry are so addicting?

Ever wonder what happens next....?

Playing in photo shop creating water for the thesis project (the creation story)- which is SAID AND DONE!!!

3-11-09

2009-03-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

Today the twins turned 24. Wow. When did I get so old? Time flies when you're having fun. If someone would have told me that the road would have taken all the twists and turns it did 24 years ago I would not have believed them. My babies are all grown up. Not to mention their older brother - who is MIA- turned 26 not too long ago. I wish he would at least call home-- SO IF YOU READ THIS- DO!!!! I would love to know that you are ok- and tell you how much I love you and am praying for you.
More later.

Another Year

2009-01-10T17:10:00.000-08:00

Time flies when you're having fun. Another year is here. Wow. In the final stretch for school and wondering what the next step is. Kinda wondering why I did it- but hey, it was a goal. Check that of my life list. That's a pretty good feeling. Not looking forward to the next step-Looking for a new job scares the you know what out of me- is this a good time to do it? The economy sucks!!!
Things are going pretty well at the church. I'm feeling a little stressed about it. I wonder how preachers' wives do it. Maybe they don't face the same challenges that preacher's S.O.'s do. I sure hope not! I wonder if the conflicts that I face there are normal? I get everything from comments about my relationship, to disrespect for anything and everything that I say or do. Makes me wonder what I'm doing, and why God wants me to do it. One of the best things about it has been the growth in faith I've experienced. I have come to realize that a.- God keeps you going when the going gets rough and b.when He wants you to do something He is consistent. Can't argue with God, ya' know.
Ok- more photos and art work to come. Gallery showing in April- talk about stress. But it's good stress. And I do have a new stress reliever- a new puppy- Mady. Well, it's really Steph's but I get to share. A chi- so small and cute. Once she wakes up I will take a photo and post it. She is so sweet.
Ok- until next time- whenever that might be-
Blessings and love, praise and glory,
TC

Happy 5th of July

2008-07-05T06:13:00.000-07:00

Where has the summer gone? The 5th of July already. Wow. Ever want to slow down time? Another 4th come and gone. We didn't make it to the lake this year- the weather wasn't cooperating. But we did make it to the cemetery- and finally got to see Lori's headstone. It's lovely. I think she would appreciate the butterflies on it. They are so her.
Every time I go there with Steph we end up having a conversation about what I would want when I die for a funeral. She's not real thrilled with that conversation. Guess I need to write a will, otherwise I'll end up in some box in the ground. Not a pleasant thought for me.
Oh well, just wanted to say hi to anyone that reads this, and to post a photo from vacation. We watched the fireworks in DC last night on tv, it was an awesome show. Made me a little wistful. Reading's fireworks are tonight, and I'm going to try to get some good photos. So hopefully there will be some of those and of the garden popping up here soon.
Til next time- "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.Matthew 7:7-8

It's been a long time

2008-06-28T17:36:00.000-07:00

Where has time gone? I swear (well, not really- usually when I do things like hit my thumb with a hammer...) that I was just on here. I guess I wasn't. Time flies when you're having fun- and even when you're not.

But I've been having fun- the good things first- school is over and (can you believe it?) I passed my math class with a high b. What a shock! I was doing some cleaning today and threw away the d--- math book. It felt so good! I never, ever throw away books- it's against everything I hold dear about the written word- but I had no problems tossing this one.

Life is going pretty well. Almost sounds boring. Church is good- we've started a community garden. It's so exciting to see all the little plants growing. I know, I'm so strange. Richard and I planted 50 baby tomato plants last weekend- and all week I've been worried that they aren't getting enough rain. It's kinda funny to see how I'm reacting to this gardening thing. I've always wanted a vegetable garden-even though I don't eat veggies as a rule- little did I know how much work it is. But it's for a good cause, and I'm getting a pretty good tan out of it-although Richard's will always be better than mine (haha).

Steph and I went to DC last month- hopefully I can post some of the photos we took on here. It was a great time. I love DC- probably my favorite place in the world. I had the best time just being with my daughter. It was truly a blessing. The photo is of a worship service that was being held on the mall the Saturday we were there- it was truly an awesome experience to see all the people spread across the mall, worshiping God. We didn't know it was going on, and just happened to stumble across it. I'm glad we did.

Tomorrow would have been Lori's 45 birthday, so this is a somewhat roug weekend for me. One full of memories of yesterdays' past and of things I won't get to share with her. For over 20 years we spent June 29 together, and July 4, both days just hanging out at the lake. While I know she is in a better place, I can't help but miss her. Sometimes I just want to hear her voice one more time, or share some deep female thing with her.
I guess it's times like these that I truly remember what faith is, what it means to hold on to something I can't see or prove. One step and one day at a time- Lord mostly just one minute at a time.
Til next time
Blessings,
TC

Snow Day!!

2008-03-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the blizzard! What a blast this has been- a foot of snow, a day off and fun with the kids. The only downside to this whole snow storm was the fact that this was just not sledding snow. What a bummer. But we shoveled- which really was fun- we went for a walk- which was kinda weird, walking down the middle of the street and not having to worry about getting hit- and we made snowmen and angels. Ok, well, it wasn't really a snowman, per say, more of a snow head- the snow just wouldn't roll right, or maybe it's that it wouldn't pack right- but he's cute.
It really was a gift- I know, that sounds strange, to think of this huge amount of snow as a gift- but it was. God is good. When you can live through something like this, and just enjoy spending the time with your family- well, that's a gift. All good things come from God.
Hope you're enjoying this. Maybe the best thing about it was there was NO political news on today- the blizzard was more important. Thanks be to God!
Blessings- enjoy the beauty and peace,
TC

Paradigms

2008-03-04T18:04:00.000-08:00

Or maybe I should call this memories. I had an conversation recently that made me think of the memories we hold onto, that shape us and make us who we are today. Memories of things that happen that change our paradigms. Often those tend to be painful things to remember. Not sure why that is, but as I've thought about it today, I've come to the conclusion that change often doesn't happen without some type of pain. And not all pain is bad.

I found it interesting that this subject would come up. Why, you might ask? Well, over the past few weeks I've pondered certain things, among them the changes that growing older brings. Remember when you were younger, and certain things seemed so easy, or came pretty naturally? An example of this might be reading something- why is it as you grow older your arms need to grow longer- and that never happens?

I was thinking specifically about weight lose. It used to be so easy to lose weight for me. Maybe that was because I spent a good portion of my adulthood battling anorexia. Not that I would have classified it as a battle, it was something I embraced wholeheartedly. This sounds pretty sick- but I enjoyed being a stick. Not that I thought of myself as a stick- or saw myself as one. Oh no, when I looked into the mirror I saw someone who was so fat, so obese, so disgusting. As I look back on photos of that long period of my life I know now that this wasn't true.

It might sound strange, but somewhere in the middle of that mess that was my life God touched me for the first time. It was a life changing moment. And it was painful. I didn't want to change the way I was, because I didn't see what was wrong with it. But God showed me, opened my eyes to what I was doing to myself. Can you imagine looking in the mirror and really seeing yourself as who you are? It was a shock to me- the experience of not seeing the obese person I thought I was, and instead the rail thin, malnourished person I had become.

I wonder why God touches us at certain times? Are these the times when we're too weak to go on, or the times when we're too stubborn to really see what it is we need? As I look back, I wonder why He saved me from myself? What purpose would, will He have me serve? And while I'm asking questions- why is it that I just can't seem to embrace the methods that served me well in the past in weight lose? Hmmm, I wonder if that means I've changed?

'Til Next time,
Blessings,
TC

Weekends

2008-02-24T16:29:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder where time goes? For years I worked every weekend, mostly on Sundays, and the just on Saturdays- so having a job that gives me every weekend off is great. I totally embraced being a "9 to 5" gal, and this weekend thing. But I've come to the conclusion that maybe I need a day off on Mondays to recover from the weekend. Wouldn't that be nice? Not that I'm a party animal, or anything like that- it's just that the time goes so fast- trying to get so much done.
One of my goals for 2008 has been to devote time to getting to know God better- might sound silly to some, but it's the truth. It's been a blessing to me to be able to spend time every morning reading the bible. I've found strength in the scriptures that surprised me. One of the things I've tried to do more and more is spend time in prayer- which was a stretch for me- I hold a paradigm close to my heart that says that I am too insignificant for God to listen to, so why would he listen to my prayers. It's been a definite growth lesson to see many of my prayers answered, and to hear the voice of God in the silence.
There really is something to the idea- being still and knowing God. Hope all is well with anyone who reads this.
Blessings,
TC

Trying this again

2008-02-19T03:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, it didn't work the first time- so here I am again. Persistence is a good thing, right? Anyway, I'm pasting in a link- if you copy it it will take you to my video on godtube.com. ( another page to manage- haven't done anything with it yet?).

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=47f21ee5e352cd36218b

Blessings,
Teri

Photo Final

2008-02-18T18:54:00.000-08:00

Hi! If this works, I'm adding my final from photo class. We'll see. If it doesn't work, well I'll try again. Keep in mind that I really am not a photographer, or a video maker. But it was done with love, for God and for the song, so it works for me. The timing needs a little work towards the end- but that's not going to happen any time soon!
This really was a work of love for me. This song speaks to me. The whole CD does really. I got lucky with it- have you ever bought a CD because you really like one song, only to find that the one song you liked is the only one you like? Not so with this CD- I love them all- and they touch me, and bring me closer to my Savior and God. That's what it's all about- the relationship we choose to have with Him- because it is a choice- one that we renew daily (hopefully).
Ok- other stuff... hmmm,I don't have too much to say... (what??) If you see this and want to comment that would be great. If not, well I hope it speaks to you. I thought I would be really tired of the song by the time I was done with this- you had to keep starting and stopping, trying to get the timing right, and I thought my kids would be tired of it- but shockingly, they are not. In fact, they like the song. Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Blessings,
TC

Forgiveness and Values

2008-02-01T21:06:00.000-08:00

I heard a very interesting mini sermon today that focused on the theme of forgiveness, and how as Christians we are called to "forgive others as we forgive ourselves." It made me think of quite a few things- the first and foremost, was that forgiveness is at times a chore- something I struggle with greatly. Not something I'm proud to admit, but it's true. I have a hard time forgiving people- mainly because I have a hard time forgiving myself. I'm my worst critic- it's never good enough, right enough, moral enough, I could have done better, and so on and so on.

The sentence that grabbed me, convicted me, and really made me think was: "As Christians we are called to live as Christ did, to live from a place of values and not feelings." WOW. Double wow. This really speaks to me on multiple levels- as a Christian, as a woman, and as someone who has struggled greatly over the last year just trying to get through the day.

As a Christian I struggle with the concept that God loved us, loves us enough to send his own son to die for our sins- and that in this death Christ offers us the ultimate forgiveness- think about it- how often do you do things for people you are angry at, that you are holding a grudge against, that have hurt you and you haven't let go of that hurt? If you're like me, not many times. But yet, here was this man- this king- and he forgave us the fact that he had to die for us. He showed us how to live from a place of value in that one act- not to mention all the other acts. WOW.

As a woman- well, really, does this need explanation? I mean, for the most part we are pretty touchy feely creatures. Feelings- that's the good stuff. Pull up a chair and we'll talk. As an artist- well that's even more important- I want my art, other's art to touch you, to evoke feelings, that lead to thoughts, that lead to more feelings. So to think about putting my feelings aside seems a little foreign to me.

As someone who has struggled with forgiveness this last year- perhaps this is just what I needed to hear- a reminder that I need to forgive, need to let go, and to live from a place of value. I've spent much time this last year trying to figure out how the people closest to me could hurt me when I was down, and how to let that go. It's not been easy- at all- but maybe, just maybe, that letting go, and living from a place of value will bring me that much closer to God, and to what he calls me to do. On multiple levels- in all aspects of my life.

Really makes me think- here I was trying to live by my values, integrity, and to hear this and realize that hey, I might just be missing the mark.
Food for thought- and thought needed for action.

Blessings,
TC

Odds and Ends

2008-01-19T17:40:00.000-08:00

Hi! Happy Winter! Ah, the sight of snow, the smell of hot chocolate and the idea of snuggling up under a blanket and watching movies or reading a good, or even a bad book- does it get any better than this? Winter is great- as long as you remember the good things about it. Notice I'm NOT talking about how dirty my car is from the salt, or how high my heating bills are- that's right- we're not talking about it. Want to know why? Well, I can't change it, so I'm not focusing on it.
One of the not so good things about winter that I will discuss- and I'm sure blog about again- is math. Normal, everyday old math- you know a+b=c or something like that. In case you haven't guessed it- I have to take a math class this semester. Which could be bad- as in really bad. The last math class I took, was well, too long ago to remember. So, this is going to be a challenge. I'm not really sure why I have to have this class- I've done pretty well all these years doing things like, oh say, balancing my checkbook, figuring out things like taxes and square footage for lots of things- roofs, floors, carpet. Why exactly do I need to know the square root of whatever power of anything? Oh that's right- to get this d--- degree. And why am I doing this again?
Why am I doing this- a question I have asked myself more than once this week- as I've stressed over converse and inverse statements, rules of logic (me, logical?), and other mathy stuff. Give me art- colors, tints, hues, chiaroscuro, tenenbrism,contrast, Poussin, Caravaggio. Give me things that breathe that feel, that touch a part of someone. But I guess I've got to get through this. Not sure why when I feel like quitting- but God doesn't seem to agree with that idea. I'm not "hearing" that it's ok to quit. So- being the faithful servant that I try to be, I'll hang in there. I might complain about it- but I'll hang.
For anyone out there that might feel like attempting to post a reply- ( I know it's rather difficult, and many times the replies don't show up) - my theological question of the week. Why is it that sometimes when you pray, you can really feel God's spirit with you and other times you don't? Is it that you've opened yourself more fully up to God? I think that everything we pray about is important- if our God can count the hairs on our heads then he can care about the things we care to pray about (how's that for logic?). Ok. Just asking. Trying to understand my relationship with my savior a little better. Not that doing so is really possible in my finite little mind- but hey, I'm human AND female- we like to talk, think, figure out relationships!
Ok, until next time- Blessings and love,
Teri

I Start The Day The War Begins

2008-01-07T16:20:00.001-08:00

Endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in...

This fits with my mood today - A storm I'm in. I guess life is a storm- one wave rode after another. Parenting is one such example. I thought- and I was so wrong- that when your kids "got grown" it would become easier. That is NOT at all the case.

My youngest son is seriously contemplating joining the marines. The parent in me is terrified of this- the democrat in me horrified. I'm really struggling with this. I want to support him in what he feels he needs to do- but why this? Why the need to enter into something that is so risk filled? The headlines bring news everyday of the youth that are killed in combat- and for what? How can joining the marines make life better- what space will this fill, what good can come of it? Where is God in this decision- Lord help him, help him make the choices that would help him achieve what it is in life he wants to achieve- and Lord, please, please keep him safe.
What as a parent do I do? Do I offer up my obvious negative views of this- or do I keep quiet and try to encourage and support him?
Do I share my fears for him, for our country and this war we are in? I'm so torn.
Pray for him, for me, and for his twin sister- who is struggling with this as much as I am.
Blessings,
TC

I Know The Plans I Have For You

2008-01-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Jer. 29:11

Goodbye 2007 HELLO 2008! The end of a year of pain and heartache and the beginning of something new. I meant to post the sunset photo last night- to signify the close of 2007, the sun setting on another day and better yet, another year. This was taken sometime in early December- I was driving to school, and saw an opportunity to take this photo-so I pulled off and did. I love the colors. The majesty of the moment and the knowledge that it was a gift from God to me, and others who really took the time to experience it.
As I look back over the last year I wonder how the scripture that I started this with plays out in the last year. I'm sure it does, I'm just not sure of the calamity part- some translations use the word harm for calamity. I guess that in the end I really haven't been harmed- although at times it has felt like it!
So goodbye to the old- hello to the new. It's a wonderful thing. I think that out of everything that has come out of the last year the desire to have a deeper faith and to trust more, and really having grown in that department is key. So, if nothing else 2007 brought growth, and what's growth without growing pains. Hopefully 2008 will bring more growth- but not more growing pains! May God keep me and bless me, and anyone who reads this.
Blessings,
TC

Where has time gone?

2007-12-22T18:48:00.000-08:00

Hi-Missed me? I've missed having the time to do this- just came out of finals, right in time for the holidays. The never-ending race to get things done!
Ok- for the good news- aced my semester at school. Don't ask me how, because I thought I was doing horribly in the photo class. A small miracle at best- many thanks and praises to my God and Savior for getting me through it!
Let me just tell you about the experiences in photo class, before I get into anything else. Ever work in a darkroom? That was interesting. Seems I have a problem with night vision and balance- so when the lights went off I got dizzy (more so than my usual blond moments). To develop the photos we had to keep going out of the darkroom, so that we could see if what we were getting was any good. Going in and out of the darkness made me sooooo ill- so I finally just gave up, and stayed in the darkroom until I got the required number of prints done- which were pretty bad, since I couldn't really see what I was doing. Not a pleasant experience!
I think the only thing that redeemed me in this class was our final project. We had to do a video of sorts- set photos to music. I was pretty OK with how it turned out. Once I figure out how to upload it to godtube.com I'll post a link- and hopefully will get some feedback.
The photo above is one of the finals- the song I choose was Casting Crowns, East to West, and this image went with the line, "the chains of yesterday surround me." I was blessed with some great weather- 55 in Cincy in November, a day off and some time at Spring Grove Cemetery. I came across a crypt that had the chain on the doors- and took advantage of it. I did get a few strange looks as I was laying on the ground shooting up- but it turned out pretty well.
Ok- finals are over, Christmas is almost here, shopping is done- time to relax. Hopefully I'll have more time for this. I've missed it.
Until next time, may God hold and keep you,
Teri

Monday, Monday

2007-11-12T18:32:00.000-08:00

Hi. Happy Monday! Just think- it's all downhill from here- Friday is just a few short days away.
I know, I'm silly. I had a loooong busy weekend and I'm still feeling it- I had to go back to work to recover! We did lots of fun things- dinner with friends, school work, church(es) and put together gifts boxes for Operation Christmas Child. That was a blast, finding things that would fit in a shoe box, that you know a child would like. If you've never done it I highly suggest doing it next year. Just the joy of doing it made it great- the idea that in some way I'm loving on someone I don't even know- that's huge. A step towards loving as God loves us!
This weekend promises to be just as jam packed- with the food drive and the welcoming dinner for Richard at Good Shepherd (I am so proud of him!), but I can't wait. If only I can fit in things like homework and sleep...
Speaking of homework, I finally figured out how to include things I've created- like this poster. I was so excited about figuring that out. There's a whole lot more stuff that I've created that I enjoy or am proud of that I would like to share ('fess up- my photos suck!)- AND now I know how to do it! Isn't that great- well at least to me it is! The poster was a school project- I really enjoy the feathers- created in Illustrator. I think they turned out pretty well. So, I'm sure there will be more stuff that pops up. And I'm sure there will be more photos- if I don't start on the final, well, that would be a really bad thing. But keep an eye out for the llamas- my personal Christmas card- Ok- I know, what do llamas have to do with Christmas- well, in my world it works- they could have been at the birth- they are relatives of the camel.
The photo is a little fuzzy-it was taken last week at the installation ceremony at GSCC, when some of the people gathered around Richard to pray. I was pretty torn, I wanted to be up there with him, but wanted a picture too- so when someone volunteered to take it for me I jumped at that- and I am so grateful to them. It was a pretty intense experience- to feel the love and spirit that was in the room. I'm really glad I got to share that with him.
Until next time- remember, every minute is a blessing and a gift.
TC

Fall is in the air

2007-11-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's cold today. I broke down and turned the heat on- I had promised myself I wouldn't do this until AT LEAST Thanksgiving- but it's really cold today. Some promises are meant to be broken! I think I need to move south!

Actually, as strange as this sounds, I welcome the fall and coming winter. It brings new beginnings, with the new church and all, but more than that it signifies the end of 2007- something I never thought would come. As I look back on this year I am truly thankful that God has been with me through all the troubles, heartaches and trials that have happened. The one really good thing that has come out of this year is the well of faith I have found inside myself, and the love that God has shown me, the support and the strength.

It's been a year of growth in that aspect. As I look back at it I wonder why it was so important to grow, and have I learned all I need to learn, grown in the ways I need to grow and gotten to the place where I need to be? I'm really not sure on any of those accounts. Then I transgress of into thoughts of- did I really need to have my house destroyed, or, why did Lori have to die, or why did the people who stole from me need to do that, or why the rollercoaster ride in personal matters? None of it makes much sense. I know I'll never get the answers I need to these questions-but one thing is certain- it is all coming to an end- 12:01 am on 12-2-07 signifies a NEW YEAR! (at least to me)- and on that date, as I have so many, many times in the past months, I will thank God once again for seeing me through, and embrace whatever the day may bring!

God is good. Embrace the day, minute and hour- and give thanks for all He's done.
Blessings,
Teri

The Power of Prayer

2007-10-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

Ever pray? Yeah, maybe sometimes- ok, more than that, but not nearly enough. Ever wonder if your prayers matter? I do. Sometimes I think it's just a waste of my time (and His). Do my prayers really make a difference? Have I accomplished something by praying, have my prayers been hear, and does God really answer MY prayers. All difficult questions to answer.

Over the last few months I've been praying that my sweetheart, S.O. or ?(insert the term of your choice here) would get the appointment at a specific church, (he's a pastor). I was, am, really excited about this church, for a variety of reason, the main one being that I really feel like this is a place where we as a couple can work in ministry together, to grow and spread the kingdom of God. What a great thing that would be for all involved- the church, but closer to home, for us as a couple. To love one another, and have God at the center of that relationship, well, that's about as good as it gets, for me anyway. (Richard might have other ideas- he is so from Mars sometimes!)

Ok- well that prayer has been answered. His start date is Nov. 1. I'm so excited for him! But wait-what about me? I'm not pastor's "wife"(for lack of a better term) material- heck I'm not sure that I'm congregation material! I don't know the right things to say, the right things to do, and I'm not really big on the right things to wear either!

And politics- I am not, and probably never will be politically correct, or suave. In fact office politics tend to go right over my head. I've led a "sheltered" life, and am pretty naive. And for the most part I like that- what you see with me is what you get, I don't sugar coat things or really embrace things like that. A spade is a spade.

OK, so where does that leave me? Eating a lot of crow, or pulling my foot out of my mouth? Probably both. I know one thing for certain- God has been hearing my prayers, and answers them. Maybe I need to learn to be more specific- who knows? Like perhaps, let me not be a problem in this move, and show me what it is You want me to do? All I know is that the ride starts, and I just pray that I'm a help to this career move and not hurtful to him in any way.

Be careful of what you pray for- God is an awesome God and answers prayers that we have no idea on what to do with...
Until next time, blessings...

Deep in thought and in need of prayer

2007-10-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

Hi. I know I mentioned major decisions that need to be made this week. Well, that still needs to happen- I'm really dragging my feet. So I thought I'd sign on and ask for prayers- prayers for guidance and strength, prayers for ends to means, and ways through the ups and downs. Prayers that God will provide the guidance I need, and the faith to believe in the things he puts in my path, and the ability to achieve all these things and more. So, if you're reading this, please pray for me.

The photo is a candid of Steph, deep in studies. I'm really proud of her- works full time, and continues to make great progress towards her next degree. She is a blessing.

My prayers are with all...
TC

Dreams

2007-10-21T16:19:00.000-07:00

I made the comment today that I really, really hated that word right now- dreams, or perhaps I said that I was really tired of it. I think it was that I was tired of it. It's come up on a regular basis lately, which is pretty scary, considering the thoughts I've had lately of letting dreams go, of moving on, of finding other paths, journeys, desires.
I question the timing of these thoughts, and of the origin. Are they of me, in my finite humanness or of God, in his infinite wisdom and goodness? I wonder at this greatly, because I believe that God is consistent, and the things he has brought me to have been consistent. So... it must be me.Ok, so, do I throw away things that I've worked so hard for, only to regret that in the future, or do I hold on to the things that God holds for me, and have faith in his word, vision, dreams? Only time will tell...

On to other topics- photography is killing me. I am doing so poorly right now.I mean, BAD. As of now there goes that 4.0! Makes me wonder at all the above even more... and then we get this really, really cool assignment. To put images to whatever song it is we wish- it can be a video set to instrumental music, images set to a song we like, anything. I was debating on doing a montage of photos that relayed the steps of grief that one works through when faced with the loss of a loved one. At first I thought that this would be a way to work further through the pain of losing LBH, but I'm shying away from that one. A little too much of me in it, a little too personal and painful.
So, that one's out- for now. One of the great things about being female is that God, in his infinite wisdom, gave us the ability to be able to justify our changing moods! My next idea is to do a "video", a personal look at the images I think of when I hear a song. Ok, like that's not personal. Being female here! The song is my current favorite, East to West, Casting Crowns. I've worked through most of it, which is pretty easy, considering that almost all music influences some thought of images in my mind- so this hasn't been too hard. I am a little hung up on the lines:
I don't want to end up where you found me
and it echoes through my mind
so if anyone has any ideas for that, please write. I was thinking about showing neon from a bar, but that gives the wrong idea- if people take this as my personal look at this song then they might get the idea that alcohol plays a part in what I don't want to go back to- but that's not the case. I really just don't want to go back to being a person who didn't have a real relationship with God, but I'm not sure how to portray that.
Ok, well enough for one night. Please pray for me over the next week as I struggle with the decisions that need made, the dreams that need faced, and the things I stand to loose- like myself.
In Christ's name-
Amen

No great title for this one!

2007-10-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

Hi! Nothing really to talk about tonight- just got back from taking more photos and wanted to share some of them. Perhaps I'll have some deep thoughts or such later- but right now it's enough that it's finally Friday- TGIF! God is good.

Ok- gotta love the sad puppy dog eyes- this is the "queen"of the house, Trixie- she really just tolerates we mere mortals.
The sunset was a blessing from God, the view from my kitchen window. I enjoy how the sky lights up the chimney cap, adding texture to the color (it's easier to see in a larger image). The middle one is from some center downtown by the square. I love the colors- again easier to see larger.

I'm really starting to get into this- and have added a new camera to my wish list. So, we'll see, but it's pretty far down the list, behind all the new mac stuff that I really, really want. Have you seen the new IMAC's- beauty in the simplicity- Apple really does get it right!
In Christ's peace...

Rambling...

2007-10-01T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hi. Rambling will probably occur at great length here. One of the way my mind works- or doesn't work, depending on who you talk to! No great, (or even bad) photos to post today. Last week's project really kicked my rear end. Oh well, such is life. Next week promises to be more fun-night photos- if not better images(blame the photographer and NOT the subject!

It's funny how God works- now why would I call that funny? Maybe mystical, spiritual, but funny- ok, maybe not... anyway, as I was driving home last night I heard the song for which this blog is named, and it was a reminder- a reminder that words mean so much to me, written, spoke, sung, and that I was neglecting myself when I neglect one of my "loves". So, here I am again,(writing) naturally (isn't that a really bad, old song?)

Then this morning the first song I heard was East to West- mentioned in a previous writing- but it really meant much to me today- especially the part about the (wo)man I used to be- not that I was ever bad or evil, but I know that the person I was isn't who I want to be today- mainly because if I was still the old me, well, no learning or growth would have occurred and without that, well why bother?
That's pretty relevant to me today. I had a learning experience over the weekend that really touched me, and made me see a few things. One of them was that we choose our scripts- and that the scripts of yesterday need not apply today. Another one linked to that same experience is that if we believe something about ourself, say we believe we are useless, or less than, or not valued- as much as someone tries to convince us otherwise, we won't believe it. The final thought that came out of this was that unless we trust, ourselves, others close to us, God, that we WON'T grow. So, I guess I'm not the person I used to be after all. What a great thing.

I changed my mind about adding a photo- the beautiful blond (or should I say multi-colored?) is my daughter, Stephanie, and the little girl is Lori's daughter, Gabrielle. Can you tell I'm partial to the person my daughter is? She's so neat. She's as pretty inside as out. The only real thing I wish I could change about her is her relationship with God- I wish it were stronger. But He's pulling at her, so I know it's only a matter of time. I have this hanging at work over my desk, so that I can remind myself of how beautiful life is and how short it is. I wish Lori could have lived to see this. Yeah, I miss her today... and every day.

Lord, thank you for the day, the opportunities and the your love. Guide me, protect me and love me. Help me to love others as you would have me too, and to walk in your path, your way and your light. In Christ's name, amen.

'Til next time- Blessings and love. TC

Really Cute Kids

2007-09-23T17:23:00.001-07:00

Are these girls great or what? Finally- something to take photos of that I love! No, really, I"m starting to get the hang of it- just had to show off these two- my step-grands. I had them most of the weekend, so many of my photos for this week feature them. Good thing they like getting their picture taken, although Lily was pretty tired and was not willing to smile. I call that her-"Grandma Teri has worn me out look"- wish I could say that it made bedtime easy- but that was NOT the case. Riley has her usual look, a combination of determination and devilment. What a combo- one of these days she'll take the world on single handed- and win!
It's great being a grandma- (or step grand)- God really has this figured out- I came to the conclusion yesterday, sometime between Chucky Cheese's, grocery shopping with these two, church and bedtime, that menopause is a great thing. I used to consider it a curse- didn't seem fair to me that men could have kids until the day they die, but women are cut off, (and in my case that happened unnaturally early), but now I get it. Who has the strength to do this 24/7? Not I said the fly!
But really, it was great. A blessing, one that I can't thank God enough for. In fact, this whole weekend was great. Time with God, time with my girls, and time with my sweetheart. Life doesn't get any better than this!
Until next time- may God bless and keep you and hold you close.

Another day, another ???

2007-09-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

Another day-Is it Friday yet???? This is really the never ending week at work- one obstacle after the other. Funny how quickly I learned to live for the weekend. After working a job for years that required I work part of the weekend, I find it amazing that in two short years I have so embraced weekends off and relish the long holidays that pop up throughout the year. God is good!

It's all good. Great news- I get the opportunity to design a complete marketing campaign- from the new logo, and all the company literature, to the direct mail, and the print campaign. My first total campaign on my own. Can you tell I'm excited? I love logo design- taking the ideals and character of the company, and creating something that fits with who they are and who they want to be. This is so cool! My one thought is that I really, really, really hope this company is in the 21st century and wants something modern. One of my loves is abstract form, and I'm hoping to utilize that in some way. We'll see.

It kind of amazes me, this path God set me on. If someone had told me 10 years ago that I would be a graphic designer, and would have not only attended college but aced it, well, I would have laughed at them. Dreams really do come true! I read a book a few years ago, The Aladdin Factor, by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, and in it one of the exercises was to write down 101 wishes. I recently found my list, and can say that I've worked through roughly 20-30% of those wishes. It was pretty amazing to see that, considering when I wrote it I really thought none of them would come true. So, considering that, I'm going to own all of them, and work towards them!

Another ???- ok, I warned you about the photos. I like this one, but think that perhaps I need to photoshop out the wires and the transformer box. It really represents the beauty of the day and the lines are great. And just think- I took it. Wow.( I know, people who do this for a living, or even fun might not get that, but this is me- the person who for DECADES hid from any type of dealing with a camera- behind or in front of the lens.) Any thoughts?

Lord- thank you, for all you do, all you promise and all you provide. Let my heart and life be yours, lead me and I will follow. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Gotta go- later days...

2007-09-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

Ever hear the Casting Crowns song East to West? One of the lines really stands out in my head
-I don't want to end up where You found me, And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight.

I'm struggling this week, with many things, faced with seemingly unending issues that need to be dealt with, and the strong thought that my faith is smaller right now than a mustard seed, and so unsure of how to build it, how to step out in it. I pray and pray, and am so unclear of the direction in which to do, the steps to take, the decisions to make. One thing that is constant is the idea that I don't want to go back to where God found me- hence the pull of the song. I wonder if God hears me. I hope so. I think he does, so perhaps the question should be, I wonder if I hear God? Am I listening? If not, then why?

Ok, enough of that. Time for some good thoughts. Like the photo? I do. I'm in a photography class, (which, by the way is kicking my rear end because I just don't get this stuff), and one of the assignments for this week dealt with taking close ups. While the composition isn't the best- I wish it wasn't so centered, I love the colors. I visited Gorman's Farm over the weekend, and had a blast walking around with my camera. Thank God for digital- so easy to delete the horrible ones, and there were quite a few of them! But, this one worked. Hope you enjoy it. Til next time. Blessings!

Missing LBH

2007-09-02T19:36:00.000-07:00

One of my dearest, lifelong friends passed away earlier this year, Loretta Beth Heile Hancock, or as she was known to me, LBH. I used to tease her right after she got married that I found it very thoughtful of her to marry someone with the last name that had the same initial of her maiden name, that way my pet name for her didn't have to change. How long ago that seems. A lifetime and a death has occurred since then. I miss her, some days more than others. I find myself still picking up a phone to call her to share some little tidbit that is important to me that only she would understand. Sometimes late at night I find that the memories won't stop running through my mind, and the tears start to flow, and I wonder if I'm slowly losing my mind, or if this is normal, a part of the stages of grief that one must go through to get to the other side of a death.

Maybe it's that this is a holiday weekend, or that I got to see her kids, but I can't get her out of my thoughts today. She's been on my mind quite a bit. Truth be told there hasn't been a day in the last 30 odd years that she didn't run through my mind at least once, even during the times that we weren't in as much contact as we once were. Death hasn't changed that. What's changed is the brutal realization that all the things I would store up to share with her won't be shared anymore. That file on the computer, with all the little ideas and projects that I would send her won't get sent anymore, that the good or bad news of the day and the week stay with me, that the pride and joys of everyday life stop here.

In one of our last conversations she asked me who I was sharing all the little details with- I had screened back tremendously what I shared with her, with the idea that she had enough of her own troubles to deal with, cancer, young children, husband, that she didn't need to her my trials, tribulations and heartbreak. In doing that I did myself and her a great disservice. I lost time and memories that will never be regained. I wish with all my heart I could change that.

I think the thing I miss most about her is the history we shared, all the ups and downs. The idea that I could share my deepest thoughts with her and not have to worry that she would find me strange, or think I was crazy. And that she could do the same. Friends like that don't come along every day. I've been blessed to have a few relationships like this in my life, but the one I shared with LBH was the longest, and as I grow older that is so important to me.

Her death makes me wonder what it's like on the other side, what is to come, and what can I do before it comes. Who can I touch, who can I love and what good will life be. I find myself clinging, (maybe too much) to the people that are still here, and worrying about things I can't control. I keep reminding myself of the scripture that tells us to not worry about tomorrow for today has enough troubles, and yet it's so hard.

I miss you Lori. You are loved.

Complacency

2007-08-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

Complacency:
a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.

Ever wake up with one idea that just sticks out like a neon light in your mind? And not really know why? That's what happened to me today- and the idea concerned complacency. What a deep thought to wake up with on a weekend day. Not something I can say I really enjoyed, because, well, there has to be some time off from the rest of the week, right? Spending my day in deep thought about such a deep subject was just NOT really where I wanted to go. But, the seed had been planted, and would continue to sprout throughout the day.

The initial thought behind it was that it's so easy to become complacent in so many, perhaps all, areas of our lives. I know that for myself this is an issue I struggle with in great detail sometimes. Three areas just popped out at me today, so I'll work with those. I'm sure there's a whole lot more- but God is kind enough, and more than loving enough to understand that dealing with these three was enough for one day!

The first- and the easiest to talk about! After years of working a job I totally hated, I found one that was better suited to my gifts and dreams, and yet I find myself called to start the process of find a job all over again. But I've become complacent- the job I have works for me some of the time, and that allows me the false sense of security that helps me ignore the all too real fact that this job is just not creative enough, doesn't stretch me enough to make me happy in the long run. The danger here- in losing what I've worked really hard to achieve, the danger of losing focus in what God is calling me to do, and straying from the path He has set out in front of me.

The second is, (and by no means are these in any order of importance, because they are ALL important) is relationships. Today the relationship that concerns me is of the S.O. type. I woke up with the thought that when I refuse to ask or acknowledge that I have a need that isn't being met that I am being complacent, that assuming that my needs aren't important, or that whatever it is that is bothering me can wait until another day is dangerous. This so came back to bite me in the rear end today. Before I go any further, let me tell you I consider myself so blessed in this area of my life. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful person who loves God more than he loves anybody- and I consider it truly a gift from God to be able to say that, and to know God is such a part of our path, our lives and our love. The only problem with this relationship is that, well I'm from Venus and he's from Mars, and sometimes we just don't speak each other's love languages. So, I woke up needing to hear that I was loved, in some manner- a simple phone call would have worked, you know, one I didn't dial. (All the women can relate to this and all the men are scratching their heads saying I don't quite get it, and that's ok. This is for me). Anyway, I didn't get that, so I got it in my mind to ignore to some extent a pattern for us, one that I might add means a great deal to me. But I was being a a bit hardheaded, I am Irish-and so I went ahead and did other things. Now, how was that being complacent you might ask. Well, because I totally expected this to blow over and not have an effect on us, me, him. Let me tell you that was so wrong. Not only did I hurt his feelings, (for which he showed me grace and accepted my heartfelt apology), but I cheated myself out of something I enjoyed, and expected it to not have any effect. That's being pretty complacent.

The third thing came at church this morning. The pastor was talking about the ways we connect to God, and walked through 8 different ways. One of the things that hit me so hard about this was that in the two ways I connect to God I had become very complacent.

I feel God the most when I'm doing intellectual connecting- digging deep into what some scripture means, or through sensate connecting- connecting to God through art, music, preferably all my senses. And I haven't been doing this. Intellectually, the ideal is to pick apart some idea, to read something that relates to God and discuss it. Sensate connecting for me can be as simple as listening to worship music on the radio, or as complex as opening myself up to a creative venue, project that God wants me to do. There's not been much of that lately, and I've really felt a disconnect- which is a huge danger. When I, we, become complacent in our ways we connect to God, well, it seems to me that those are the times that other forces fight to control us.

All this was huge stuff for me today. As you can tell from the length of this post. But it matters. It matters to me- I don't want to go through life being complacent.

Lord, Thank you for your grace, for your strength and love, and for your Son. I lift my hands and give thanks for everything in my life, the good, the bad and the ugly, because I know you've brought the beauty, that you will be with me through the bad and that you will protect me from the ugly. Lord I thank you for the thoughts you've given me, for the seeds that you've planted and the roots you've grown. Thank you for the people in my life, and the love they show me. I come before you tonight, asking for strength to walk where you would have me walk, for insight to know and understand the areas in my life where I am threatened with being foolish, and the courage to strive to be the person you call me to be. In Jesus' name, amen.

Until next time...
Proverbs 1:32: "For the waywardness of the naive will kill them, And the complacency of fools will destroy them.

Running and Soaring

2007-08-21T18:06:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 40:31 -Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

Have you ever felt like life was a storm, and you were being battered?
Have you ever been so tired that you felt you couldn't hang on until the next calm spot in the storm- which is usually the calm before the next storm?

That kinda sums up 2007 for me- the few calm spots followed by the next unbearable storm. That might sound pretty depressing, and at face value it is. BUT what a learning experience this year has been. I've learned more about strength, about trusting, about leaning into others, and about love than I've probably ever learned in my life. I've learned, and grown in faith, and come closer to God than ever before in my life. The verse above really true- we do gain new strength when we wait for the Lord.

Not only do we gain strength, but we are blessed in so many ways when we wait patiently on God. Even when the waiting is hard, God has a plan for us, and lets us know what that plan is one small bit at a time. We just have to take the time to trust, to take that leap of faith, that small first step. For me that step was really hard. I feel like I've been trying to do it my way all my life, and that my way should have been God's way- but I was so wrong. God doesn't work in the way I do, and more often than not we need to wait for Him.And I'm so glad I did, because if things had gone my way I would have missed out on so many blessings.

I want to share a story with anyone who is reading this. It might sound like a silly story, but it's one that reminded me of God- a blessing.
My daughter and I were painting the other day, I had enlisted her help in painting a mural, not something she wanted to do, but she did anyway. A fly flew into the paint can she was using. As I watched, she tried, in vain, to free the fly. She gently scooped it out from the paint, and took it to the bathroom to attempt to clean it off. While this was a futile effort, she really tried. Her logic was that the fly was God's creature, and deserved a chance. A few days later my son came downstairs carrying something. He went outside, and came right back in. I asked him what he was doing, and he said that there had been a fly in his room, and rather than kill it because it was bothering him, he had caught it, and went outside to let it go.As I reflected on these two events, they were a real life reminder that God cares about the smallest creatures and counts every hair on our heads, and that maybe, just maybe, my kids' compassion to a lowly fly should be a reminder to me of the care and love He gives us.

Lord, I come before you tonight to give thanks, thanks for giving me strength to not get tired, thanks for holding me up when I am tired. Lord, your grace and love are truly a gift that I desire to always appreciate. Lord, guide me and love me, and lead me to do your work, in your way, in your time. In Christ's name. Amen.

A Plan? or a crossroad?

2007-08-07T17:52:00.000-07:00

Jer. 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I think I'm having some type of crisis of faith. I want to believe that God has some plan for me, but I can't seem to figure out what it is for the life of me. Every have one of those days, (or weeks or months?) And when you do, do you have a hard time seeing the good you do? I guess that assumes we all do some good. I would like to make that assumption, especially about myself, but days, weeks, like this make it hard to see that.

I used to think that God was calling me to ministry, some type of work that would reach people through some form of art. I'm not sure about that anymore. At all. It's hard to be creative when you feel as if the life has been sucked right out of you. That's where I'm at. It makes me wonder if God can even use me at all, or for what. Not a pleasant thought.

I wonder if the times like this are the times when satan works in us. I find myself searching for good in all the areas of my life, and yet I come up lacking. Is it me, I wonder. What is it that seems like nothing ever goes right, or the way you really want it too?

I've put a lot of thought into walking away from everything and everyone. I guess you might call it running. Sometimes it doesn't sound so bad. Some days it sounds really, really good. Just think about it- going away where no one knows you, no one has any idea of who you are. Starting fresh. Except wherever you run too, well two things happen- one, if God wants you, and I do believe he wants us all, well, He is still there, pulling at you and calling you. And 2- well, I would still be with me, I can't very well run from myself. Kinda sucks, but hey, that's life. Then there's the people you would leave behind. I might not be a great person, but I'd like to think that the people in my life value me as much as I value them, but there's a good portion of the time I'm not so sure about that.

So it's a kind of crossroads- keeping on the path that I feel God has for me- even when I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what that path entails, or turning away from it all together- but what of the my soul. Where does that lead me? That's a little scary to even think about.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, because I feel as if it's me against the world today, and no one is hearing my voice. Why blog? Can't tell you right now. Maybe that will change.

Lord, be with me today. Show me your plan, guide me to where you want me to be. Help me to be the loving person you desire me to be. In Jesus name, Amen.

Footprints and Voices

2007-07-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

I'm sure just about everyone in the Christian world has seen or read the Footprints poem- you know, the one that starts with "one night a man had a dream". Why do I mention that, and why is this the title of today's blog, you might ask. Well, today I know I'm that man, or should I say woman. God is really carrying me. I know he is, because I'm still here on this earth, yet I have no strength to carry myself. I won't go into the gory details, but I have the certainty that God is walking with me right now, and carrying a huge part of a heavy load. It makes me wonder why- why He would care? There are more important people in this world, people who have done more than I can ever imagine doing, so why would he care about me? In my mind the feebleness and smallness of who I am stands out strong today. Why do I count, why does He even care to know how many hairs are on my head.

When I was a little girl I always thought that when I met God I would ask Him things like why is the sky blue, where does rain come from, are they really His tears.. etc. Now that I'm old- (and believe me, today I feel old), I want to know things like why do I matter to you. What dreams does He want me to live, and how can someone as small and insignificant as myself serve such a great and glorious God. It doesn't make any sense to me. But not much does right now.

Voices- do you ever really desire to hear God, to hear what He has to say to you, to know His thoughts, desires and direction for you life? That is perhaps the largest personal desire I have right now, to hear HIM, to understand HIM and to let HIM guide me. That probably sounds really strange, more so to the people who know what a mess my life is, but it's my secret desire. I wonder if discernment is gift, if understanding what God really wants you to do and where he wants you to go is a gift. I wonder how he speaks to me. I know that a part of God's language to me comes through song. There are so many times when am thinking something, and a song comes on the radio that speaks to the exact thing I'm thinking of. And at those times, I know it's God. I know, I probably sound like I've lost all my marbles. And maybe I have, if it means that I'm attempting to hear My God speak to me.

The song that keeps running through my mind today is from Casting Crowns, and the refrain goes like this:

And i'll praise you in this storm
and i will lift my hands
that you are who you are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
you hold in your hand
you never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I seek comfort in knowing He holds all my tears, and boy, does He have some big hands- because there have been many over the last few days! I will praise Him in this storm!

God, for all you've done, for every tear you've held, for the words and comfort you've given me I thank you. Lord, lead me, strengthen me and love me. Guide me to where you want me to be, what you want me to do and to those who you would have me love as you love me. In your loving son's name, Amen.

The Power of Prayer and the Holy Spirit.

2007-07-22T15:43:00.001-07:00

God is so awesome! I experienced first hand today the power of prayer, and the Holy Spirit moving in my life and the lives of people around me, people that I hardly know, and it's led me to a new level of understanding of the awesome power of God.

Last night I felt the urge to pray for someone I don't really know. I thought this was a little strange, but am working on that obedience thing, so I was game. I lifted up a few prayers, and shared the thought with someone close to my heart, who also lifted up a prayers of his own. I found out today that the person we had prayed for had been having a night filled with pain and felt pretty alone. When I shared my story of praying for her with her, the tears came, and she was awed at the way God works. She felt pretty alone, and was blessed to know that God was looking out for her during this time of turmoil.

While this was a blessing to her, it was even more of a blessing to me. See, I often think that God doesn't listen to me- not because He doesn't care, but well, because I don't really matter. But you know what- God wouldn't use someone who doesn't matter to do His work- and prayer is work. There are many days when I'm so down that I don't think that I will be heard, so I don't feel like it matters or not. But that is so wrong!

With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints. Eph 6:18

Therefore,having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.Romans 5:1-5

Until next time, keep Pam,Mike and their family in your prayers.

Lord, thank you the growth that you've led me to.Thank you for your son, for the Holy Spirit that touches us and fills us, allowing us to do things that we don't think in our power. Lord I come before you tonight with the plea for peace for Pam, for her family and friends. Lord heal them, guide them, and let them work towards your purpose and strength. Lord be with me every day, every minute and every second, clearing my path that I may come ever closer to the work you call me to do. In Jesus name, Amen.

GOD IS GOOD!

Where you lead me Lord I will follow

2007-07-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite songs at the church I attend goes something like this:

All who are weak,All who are weary,
Come to the rock, come to the fountain,
All who have sailed on the rivers of heartache
Come to the sea, Come on be set free
If you lead me Lord I will follow
Where you lead me Lord I will go
Come and heal me Lord I will follow
Where you lead me Lord I will go

For some reason this song speaks to me- probably because I definitely need healing, (don't we all), but the imagery behind the words pulls me in. It's a physical thing- come- an action that needs to be taken. An action I need to take. Who can't relate to the rivers of heartache. I know I've had my fair share in the past, am having my share in the present and am sure that there will be more to come in the future. But that's ok- because now I know where to turn- the rock.
I didn't understand totally what the rock was- I thought it was Peter and the foundation of the church, but that didn't really make sense to me. Further digging lead me down a different thought train, with the bible and the help of someone that just blesses my life I have a clearer understanding that God, and faith is the rock.

Isaiah 26:4-Trust in the Lord forever,For in God the Lord we have an everlasting Rock. (NASB)
1 Cor 10:4- and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ.(NASB)

Matt. 7:24-"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Makes a little more sense to me now- I need to take action- have faith in God and Christ- and build my life upon that.
Seems so easy, doesn't it?

Father God, I come before you tonight with thanks for your presence in my life, for holding me close and counting the hairs upon my head. Lord, I ask that you give me strength and wisdom, discernment and guidance to answer what it is you call me to do. Guide me Lord, help me walk in Your way, seeking the truth and the light that is your only begotten son. In Christ's name I pray. Amen.

Integrity

2007-07-15T16:11:00.000-07:00

I had a rather painful conversation today, one that result in a mini epiphany of sort- is there such a thing? Anyway, in this conversation I introduced the concept of relational integrity- the idea that I choose to treat others I am in relationship with in the way that I want to be treated, and I expect them to treat me the same. The mini epiphany came from the idea that in doing some action that goes against what I believe, well that isn't living with integrity. This was pretty painful for me. But the bigger picture, the more painful thought that I have taken actions or done things that aren't in line with my own integrity opened me up to the idea, no, the fact, that as sinners we all fall short of God's integrity. Wow, now I've got painful thoughts about two things.

Integrity- that's a huge word for me. One I'd like to think I've lived by.
Websters defines it as firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.

Being a artist, I can see this so clearly in my art. When something upsets the balance, the integrity of a illustration or drawing, what do I do- I take it out. I have a professor that calls things such as these visual fluff- things that are added that really don't bring anything to the piece, and in reality many times detract from it.

Life's a little harder. It's full of fluff. It came to me that even if I have this moral code I'm trying to live by, well, God has a bigger code. How come it's so easy for me to try to live by my own code, which I would like to think is in line with His, but there are so many times when my code gets in the way of His. There's so many times when life's fluff gets in the way.

Maybe it's time to embrace all He calls us to do, even the things that we don't understand or really fear. Break free of the daily fluff and let Him embrace us, -me, my life, my thoughts and my dreams. Live by the integrity of His word.

12 As for me, You uphold me in my integrity, And You set me in Your presence forever. 13 Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, From everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen.Psalm 41:13-13

A Hope

2007-07-09T17:23:00.001-07:00

Sounds a little pompous, and more than a little strange doesn't it- Stand upon a mountain. Maybe I should clarify myself- that's a goal, a dream, a life wish. It's a metaphor, a line from a song, a way of life to be lived. It's a hope. The hope to live a life that means something, that when life is over the past is remembered with joy and happiness, but the future, the life we are promised in Christ is attained, and that the days on this earth are spent living the way God, Jesus calls us to live.
The title of my blog comes from the Third Day song, Mountain of God.That song really speaks to me- broken and afraid. We must walk through the valley to stand upon the mountain. This is about valleys, and living in 2007( and hopefully years to come) the way I perceive God calls me to live. It's a chance to share thoughts, seek community and to reach out to others. It's about reaching for the mountain in the ways I know how.
Ok, well it's a start. One day at a time.
Blessings,
Teri